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|You are now the proud owner of a Penis|
January 14, 2007
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a Penis(tm)!
If you have a Penis(tm), this is important information! Please read very carefully. The following limits our liability:
For recreational use only.
Limit one per customer. Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Use as intended. Penis should not be used as a replacement for brain.
Do not leave in direct sunlight, enclosed vehicle, or exposed to extreme temperatures.
Misuse or careless use may cause serious injury or death.
Not recommended for use by persons with heart conditions or chronic respiratory problems.
Do not operate while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Slippery when wet.
Keep out of reach of children.
Warning: Pastry filling may be hot when heated.
Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and/or inhaling contents may be fatal, or it may be a lot of fun.
Maximum daily output should not exceed three (3) uses per day.
Penis may appear larger in mirror.
Most of all, our sexy service technicians ("women") stressed: We reserve the right to refuse service.
Thank you, and enjoy your new Penis(tm).
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