|Learn to Love Your Dark Side|
November 17, 2009
The dark side is our inner negativity, where we have suppressed in our unconscious all our negative thoughts and feelings that we do not want even our partners or best friends to know about. It includes both what we know about ourselves and what we do not. It is our shadow self.
Shadow gets in the way of getting the most out of life. If instead we embrace our dark side, we can redeem and transform it, and bring new energy into our lives.
Switch off the critic in your head. If you have an incessant internal commentator that rubbishes everything you do, you can learn to get rid of it. It is an inner negative force that is holding you back.
We need to acknowledge when we havenít done things as well as we would like or when we do something wrong, but getting things wrong does not make us useless people. That does not mean we should not face up to our deficiencies, but facing up means moving forward, not wallowing in the past.
Not being perfect. Being realistic about others and ourselves is the most important aspect of dealing with the shadow. We need to find a balance between ego inflation and ego deflation.
The middle way is to recognize that we are good and bad, weak and strong. Sometimes we get things right. Sometimes we get things wrong. We make mistakes but we also have inspired moments where we get things exactly right.
What am I afraid of? Our dark side is not as bad as we think it is. Inside our heads, all manner of small problems and minor negative attributes assume enormous significance. We expend huge effort in hiding aspects of ourselves that others would barely notice. By bringing our internal worries into external reality, we can be more realistic about them.
Looking on the bright side. We exaggerate our negative qualities and fail to notice some of the most positive aspects of our personalities. Letting into our conscious psyche the good qualities that we have run away from or have been too afraid to manifest is like opening the shutters of an old mansion that has not been lived in for years.
Think about how you would like to do. Then begin. What you are doing psychologically is expanding your boundaries. You are giving yourself scope to grow.
Developing wholeness. We become whole by acknowledging all the hidden aspects of ourselves and by finding a new centre of consciousness, the true self.
To free ourselves from the grip of the shadow, we need to hear this voice within us. The true self is a source of wisdom and wise insight. Take a few moments each day to be still and listen to the voice within.
Freedom The first stage of growth can be like a personal confession. We admit certain things to ourselves. We open the locked drawers, closets and shuttered rooms, and we let in the light. Light makes shadows flee and the fears of the night shrink.
By learning to recognize our dark side, we diminish its power in our lives. Out of the dark side comes positive energy, energy that can transform your life.