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Mine, All Mine by chi3nne
February 2009

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February 18, 2009

Well my nephew is out of Japan and on his way to Iraq or there already. Not sure. Yesterday I was up and down but he is doing what he chose to do and he is experiencing things, seeing places and meeting people he might never have done if not for his choice. So again, I will support him, love him and be here for him but I do not have to like it. I just have to keep that last part to myself.

I was supposed to meet CPA guy today but he had to cencell and wanted to reschedule to dinner tonight. No can do, I have plans. I told him I was unable to accomodate his request. I am booked solid next week so if he wants to meet with me he will need to make it the week after next. I don't want this guyt o think he has the upper hand and I will bend over backward to accomodate him. If I set that tone now and things do progress into a full blown business relationship/partnership it might cause problems. I have plenty of work I can and will do today.

Monday was Tamii's birthday. Tamii, Alli and I went out for lunch after Tamii and I knocked out some work in the AM. Then we went to the adult toy store (had to kill some time). After that Tamii and I got tattoos. Mine is on the back of my neck. It is a little scrolly heart with the workd Mon Fils on top and Mon Coeur underneath the heart. It means "my son my heart". It is small and fem looking just what I hoped for. Then becaue Tamii talks so damn much I ended up with a $40 parking ticket! It was a expensive (I bought lunch and Tamii a Toy). It was as fun day though and Tamii enjoyed it very much, that is what matters.

The love life update...The thing with Yummy is fine but because of his recent domestic situation there is no damn way I can emotionally invest. His ex still calls 10 times a day and that is when she is confident he is not on a date. If she thinks he might be on a date she will call him every damn hour and send text messages if does not answer. It is really annoying. I mean really, I understand we are just dating, there is no heavy committment there or anything. It is simply to early in the relationship for that. However, when I am with you damn it I want to be your focus. I do not want you to be distracted by buzzing/vibrating phones and have your mood dampened because your ex decided to play head games via text messaging and voice mail. I understand he has a child and needs to be available to the ex because of that but NONE of the it thus far has been related to the daughter they share except for the fact that the ex likes to use the daughter for leverage, manipulation and inflict guilt. For instance...Saturday when he came over here for dinner he did not call his daughter at 8 PM to "tuck her in". Ok he should have but he did not because his Ex has been using it as a opportunity to keep him on the phone for 45 mins. so he called his daughter on his way to my house and told her good night. Well his Ex sent him a long text messaging saying "nice, you are father of the year". OK so I get where she is at, we have all been there and he needs to be the one to take control of the situation if he is going to be dating and he needs to do it in a delicate manner. Last night after work he went to spend time with his daughter. I did not expect him to cal me but he did on his way home. It was a brief conversation because his Ex called! He said "can I call you back? Ex is calling I am not sure if I left something there of if it is daughter". Yeah ok fine, I get it. So after a hour of no call back I turned off my phone and went to sleep, slightly irritated. I woke up this morning to a voice mail from him explaining he was calling to say good night and that he was kept on the phone until he hit the dead spot near his house blah blah blah. My thought...END THE CONVERSATION. Unless of course it was important regarding the daughter and sorting out some details regarding that. He is letting his Ex run the show and to some extent his life because he feels if he does not she will make his life even more miserable by not allowing him to see his daughter. So I don't know all that really ruins moments for us but I knew he was pretty fresh out of a long term relationship and that he had a small child going in. I did not know that his Ex would all of the sudden decide she did not want him but did not want anyone else to have him either and play all the games that involves. The crappy part is that if we had time where his phone was not vibrating off the hook, distracting and interrupting us this might go somewhere. We have just the right amount of things in common, we get each others sense of humor and of course there is a very strong sexual chemistry there. As it stands now my walls are up. I will still see him...for now. I will not let myself emotionally invest because frankly this has MESS written all over it. I am am supposed to see him tonight. He is supposed to meet Tamii, Alli, Tamii's hubby and I out for burgers, drinks and some darts after work but we will see.

Tom had sent me a text on Monday morning to say good morning and all that. This morning he called and left a voice mail to do the same as well as wish me luck at my meeting (that is not taking place today anymore). He has not done that in a very long time. He knows I am dating someone else so I suppose this is him picking up his game. However, him paying attention to me was never a problem. He called last night and he was buzzed..that is a problem. I am going to keep track of how many times he goes out drinking in a two week period when he is not with me. So far since Sunday morning it has been twice. Yup it is only Wed. When I say out drinking I mean he gets at least buzzed. I am not talking about a couple drinks while out for dinner.

Well Brent or B as I referred to him in the past called last night. He is my best male friend and we go back to 15 years old. We never dated but several years back we did cross that line once or twice but it never effected our relationship. He was married this past summer to a wonderful woman. I love her. So he called and we chatted. He will be in my neck of the woods shortly so I told him I would make him some coffee and we could catch up for a hour or so. He is eager to hear about my the "new guy". He is always trying to find me someone "special". So I better go and get that coffee going.
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