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Mine, All Mine by chi3nne
February 2009

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February 19, 2009

Well...yesterday I was a bit pissy about several things. Work kicked my ass but not in a "Yes what productive day" way but in a "OMG let the phone calls, emails, request stop" sort of way. I busted my hiney all day long and yet made absolutely no progress on my list of "must do's". I have about two weeks left before my deadline (set by myself) to get all the year end shit wrapped up for everyone. In addition to that I have to keep up on the day to day for everyone. I have been averaging 50-60 hours a week and that does not include the damn hours I spend in my vehicle going to and from clients, running here and there for work. So yesterday I was just spent and irritated with work, with Tom, with Yummy, with D etc. I was just disliking everyone and everything. It was not the day to cross me.

So because of the above I was glad I had made plans with Tamii and company to go have dinner, a few drinks and shoot some darts. We were supposed to meet at 6. Yummy was supposed to meet us there about 7 but I was not holding my breath but could have cared less as I drove to meet Tamii. Then my phone rings. It was Yummy. He had gotten of work earlier than he thought so he was running to Menards to get some part for his water heater or something. Then he tells me his Ex called him and she was working late and just happened to be a block from where we were to meet. My response was "and?". He said he was worried she might see his car and come in and make a scene and that he did not want to ruin the good time we had all planned on having. I said "so?". So I will get my part at Menards and wait for her to call me when she gets off work then I will come up. I said "Jesus, really? I can just meet you at Menards, leave your car there because I do not want you being paranoid and distracted or simply don't come". He said "yeah that would be great just meet me there I want to see you and meet Tamii". OK fine I meet him. He gets out of his car and instead of hopping in my car he walks around to the drivers side, so I open the window. He leans in and lays one of those buckle you knee's kind of kisses on me and say "taht was nice but why are you standing outside?". He says he is going into to get this part. "Ok I will come with I say" and I hop out of the car. As we are walking across the parking lot he says "I have to be honest I told the Ex I was coming through (the town we were in) to come to Menards to get this part....". I stop and look at him and say "and so now your worried she will drive through the damn parking lot, see your car and go look for you in there and if she does not find you she will keep stalking you tonight until she reaches you?". "a little bit" he says. Then he adds right after that "you are so great, you have been so understanding and patient with me and this situation. I need to make a nice clean break but it will be a process...". I cut him off and said I understood about the delicate nature of things because of the child involved but he is playing right into her hands, she using the child to keep you in line and fearful. I do not think I have alot of understanding for this situation left in me. What I do understand is that I met you on a dating site, you were ready to start dating, apparently she was dating so despite the fact the you were recently out of a relationship it seemed at the very least there would not be this type garbage going on. I also understand we have only been dating a very short time and there is no commitment, hell we are not even close to the point where the "where is this going" talk will take place. However, if you are going to date me I will not feel like the other woman, I will not have you constantly distracted when you are with me. I do not have alot of free time so what time I do have I want to spend with people who want to be with me and will focus on the time we are having together not figuring out what he is going to say to the Ex about where he was, who he was with etc. when she could not reach him with one of her 10 calls or 20 text she just attempted over the last 5 hours". I told him I really did understand where he was at with trying to keep the peace etc. but I also know that his Ex does not want him back, she simply has not found someone to take his place and wants to make sure options are left open and to do that she needs to make sure he feels a level of accountability to him and that requires him not dating someone on a regular basis. I also know that playing her game by her rules will not make things better for anyone long term. So I told him "I am going to go meet my friends for dinner. You know where we will be and you are welcome to join us IF you can just enjoy the evening with us. If you can't then don't bother showing up and we can talk more later if you want." I then walked back to my vehicle and drove off to meet Tamii and the others. He did show up about 20 mins later. He turned his phone off and put it in his pocket. He was very affectionate all evening long and seemed to enjoy himself as did everyone else. He might come over tomorrow night. It depends what my plans end being. I am supposed to go to this huge family party thing with him on Saturday also. I suppose we will see how this pans out but I know if moves forward or ends it will be on my terms not his Ex's.

Ok yet another fire popped up so I must go put it out.
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