March 19, 2017
I have not been able to sleep tonight/this morning. A lot of electricity coursing through my legs and numbness in my hands. My brain will not turn off either.
One of my classmates passed away. His wife came home and he was gone from either a heart attack or stroke. It hurts me that I never made more of an effort to stay in touch. We did not run in the same circles.
It reminds me that though I am sick I am a survivor. They say attitude is everything and I am trying to do better with that.
My back hurts, my body burns, but I am still here. I have purpose still. I spoke with the sister of another friend who passed away years ago. We are unlikely friends, yet she needs me. She is still grieving, having dreams of her brother and I comforted her.
The classmate who just passed was her late brother's best friend. His family is having him cremated. No insurance and no services.
Just earlier today I heard from another late friend's widow. We were close and we talked about him and it reminded me of his service which was held later. He too was cremated and I had the privilege of speaking at his memorial.
I was able to describe to this young woman how to hold a remembrance at little cost, yet great help to those who loved him.
I told her I think maybe the recent dreams of her brother, and our unlikely friendship were all part of a greater plan. Perhaps her brother wants her to help pay respect to his friend's memory by helping the family plan a memorial for him?
I think this process will help her deal with her own pain.
I still have purpose now and then..