| | what a weekend...Hate life
February 8, 2010
Dear, journal
What else can go wrong nothing is going right i want to cut so damn bad. My life sucks. I got the restraining order an shit but it isn't helping with my nerves i just wanna sit in bed an cry an sleep nothing else. An now my friend kandi is here she is dealing with her abusive husband so now on top of my drama i got hers to i want to help i want to be a good friend its just i don't know how i can help her when i'm sitting here falling apart myself?  Why cant this all just be over with?!
i'm hoping me an kandi can get eachother through this. Its just more stress cause now she is staying with me with her 3 kids. Plus my 2 all age 5 and under. I want to be back as a kid so my problems can get taken care of by parents. i'm gonna end up ripping my fucking hair out is whats gonna happen. I want kevin to see the kids but i cant contact him i'm so damn confused about what to do. Wont anybody help me in my time of need?! why am i the one always having to help. And the kids are gonna push me off the edge. John,5, conner,3, amelia,2, alexia,2, and tyler,4 months. Ya you try dealing with that.
later...
God things are crazy with the 5 kids i just wanna yank my hair out. Alexia (my daughter) is acting out of controll so i been spankeing her ass all day. Jesus! i am so damn stressed out it aint funny im gonna end up haveing a stroke or somthing i cant even consintrate on my twilight an i loveeee twilight! This is horrible i just want my life back. Damn men gotta ruin everything. I got enough drama of my own tryingto figure out how kevin can see the kids without contacting me couse of the restraining order drama drama more fuckking DRAMA!
I want him to see the kids dont get me wrong i think that kandis drama on top a mine is just pushing me to far and it dont help when the kids wont shut the hell up!
trin |
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