May 14, 2018
On Saturday my youngest daughter was invited to prom with a few friends who attend a different school than her. It was held in a ballroom in this little town close to where we live. They decided the best place to have their prom dinner was at Taco Bell, pretty cute.
She had a beautiful dress, had just gotten a hair cut into a cute style, we went on Friday and get pedicures together, super fun. She had a great time until the very end of the dance. I went to pick her up and her best friend walked her to the car, when we heard a voice saying "K, don't go yet. Come over here!" So she walked over. Behind the ballroom was this little garden and a gazebo covered in twinkling lights. So some friends were all gathered there and turned to another one of my daughter's friends and said to her "Okay, time to go for it." And all the friends walked away from the two girls. The one girl, I will call her C, turns to K and confesses she has a huge crush on K and thinks they should be together. My daughter was completely blindsided. She had no idea that C had a crush, and apparently all of her other friends knew.
To my daughter's credit she told C very gently she just did not feel that way about her, but she was glad she told her how she felt. K gave C a hug and then came back to the car. My girl was shaking, so upset, embarrassed that everyone else knew, she was feeling nauseous, upset that she upset her friend. Later on the drive home she said, "Mom, pardon my language, but I just feel like an ass. I was encouraging C to ask this one boy to dance, more than once. I just didn't know." She cried in the car, she felt so badly for her friend.
I told her that because of who she is, and that she is very beautiful inside and out that she will have this happen more than once in her life and all she can do is what she did, be gentle and kind to the other person.
Today when I took her to school and she saw C, she waved a big hello and gave her the best smile, so that was good. She said everything felt normal, thank goodness.
My older daughter on Sunday ended up having a meltdown, crying shaking, angry, she feels that her meds are not helping her at all anymore, she is very depressed and frustrated. I spent a lot of today trying to get her treatment team to help her, I hope we are going in a good direction or at least in SOME direction.
My eyelids are stress-twitching again, like before the BP meds. The nice thing about yesterday is that the girls did give me a super sweet card and super expensive chocolates, which was very thoughtful. They wanted to go out to lunch, but I ended up getting take out and bringing it home for everyone. I had to get out of the house, so I left and got a coffee and drove near the water, that was nice.
The things I have been feeling about my husband were confirmed yesterday when I was in the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth and he called my name out several times like something was really wrong. I ran out in my underwear and toothbrush in my mouth thinking there was a crisis...no, my brother was at the door and he wanted ME to answer it. I am not a servant, this is the second time he has beckoned me like the maid, in recent days.
I am furrowing my brows thinking about this right now, ugh.
I am just going to keep focusing on my lovely daughters and myself. The sun is shining today and the puppies are lovely and I suppose it's time for me to get back to work.