April 28, 2018
Things seemed to be going so well, but they are looking to rapidly spiral down. L is having trouble with work because of her health. Because of uterine cancer, she had to have a hysterectomy last year and has had a recurring problem with adhesions in gastric cavity. They seem to be recurring and causing a significant number of digestive and pain related problems. She's been missing work a great deal and because of her relative newness at the job is unable to have FMLA to work around her need to miss work. I mean, it's hard to work when you are doubled over in pain from blockages caused by gastroparesis. I know for a fact that it is has been nearly a week since her last bowel movement and to put it mildly, that is damned uncomfortable.
She is likely to lose her job in the near future. She will soon lose her apartment after that. The only option that she has for a place to live would be with me and father. Yet, I am not certain if the old man would allow it to happen. If he doesn't, I would likely move out to be with L and take care of her. Unfortunately, I am sure that my current salary would not be enough to maintain our apartment. I already have a significant number of debts that I am paying off and judging by a call that I received today -- I may have another situation to resolve in the near future. Things just seem to be getting more complicated and rapidly approaching the desperate.
I finally try to start getting my life together and it seems that life is rapidly trying to make things worse. If something doesn't give and things are able to resolve themselves positively, I don't know what is going to happen. L and I are both prone to depression. I know she is already fighting it because of her health and money issues. I am starting to fight it because of her problems, our money situation, and my past history. I am worried that things are going to fall completely to pieces and I don't know how we are going to deal with it. It is too easy to fall into deep circles and I am afraid where they will take us. Things could easily get ugly fast and I don't know how we will react. Hell, I think L will respond better than I. I don't have the intestinal fortitude to carry on much further if things go to pot.