| || ||1||2||3||4||5|
|27||28||29||30||31|| || |
May 15, 2018
It has been years since I used this medium to write. I am going to from now on as it is mostly private. Away from my local community and the assholes who seem to run it. I look at the names of people who have this named a fav and think OMG have not thought about those folks for years.
I have been outspoken on the lifestyle site. I have pissed people off. Yet no one cares.....have we become the throw away society? where having a place to play is more important than integrity and honor??? were the next tweet is more important than true feelings and communication?
I have always tried to fight what I felt where good fights. I feel strongly about things and yes people I love. I have never had to work to be a Dominant. Yet now a days it seems that is all I am doing. Since when was it wrong to expose potential dangers to the community? Does it change this basic fact because your involvement came after your ex became that persons "girl". This is objective as neither claimed so.
I am hurt rather than angry anymore. People I once called friends, have turned on me. Hell even the one person who should never doubt me does. I am tired of them all. Why do I have to be such a fighter? I would prefer to just lay down and never get back up.
I have hit that physical and emotional wall. When does the effort out weigh the results become a tipping point? When does a person just scream enough.. swim in your cesspool.
When I first started journaling here, what we did was kept very low key. We were just short of a secret hand shake. We talked via irc and had real discussions about what we do and did. We cared for each other.
Now? if you are liked or have a good body? you are in. Security? a joke. People changing partners more often than in the 70s with much more dangerous STD's out here.
It seems the caution and common sense went the same place as the years. Just gone.....