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july 14, 2017
July 14, 2017

No word yet from the attorney. She promised she would email me as soon as the documents I filled out and signed arrived.

I have hives. Couldn't figure out what the itchy bumps were that were all over me, not just one outbreak. I showed them to the doctor and he said there are many things that can cause hives, like certain kinds of food, using a new laundry soap, or stress. I'm kind of going with the stress angle.

I think it can be agreed that when one finds that their pension is suddenly cut in half, and that they owe a staggering amount of money back to the union due to overpayment, yeah, that situation might cause a little stress.

Michael studied and studied the budget list and he swears I will make it, and even save getting my hair done. I was and am mortified about having to tell the hairdresser I need to cut back on the maintainence or even cut it out altogether. My supportive sister said "just go grey". Michael said grow your hair to your ankles and let it frizz. NO. I am so grateful I get up every morning with acceptable hair. I was teased and made fun of all my life because of that wild frizz. I finally had enough of it, and now no matter what Michael says to assure me, I feel that this luxury will have to be removed. It's the only luxury on the budget list.

Both Henry and Garrett Jr. continue to stay here. Michael has been going out to the RV and working on it because he says all it needs is new tires and it would be a shame to lose it because of the tires. Garrett Jr. bursts out nervously that he is not stepping into the RV again. He says it makes him have a panic attack, thinking of the memories it holds. And, he says, the black mold was killing him. I didn't know that the trailer had black mold. Michael will find out about it when he goes to clean it out. I just wonder how long it will be before the police order the thing towed to a junkyard. Once in the junkyard, it will be too expensive to get it out as it racks up the costly days. Garrett Sr. has apparently said that he would appreciate it if Michael gets the thing parked somewhere safe. The tires are unfortunately very expensive and Michael doesn't have the money to get them changed.

But have I said...Michael got called on the three jobs. He is giving the hotel maintainence job a shot. He says that the drug-testing report should be back today on the loading and unloading jpb at a hardware store. He thinks he can work at the hotel and then go straight to the hardware store and work a four hour shift there. I asked him exactly where he was going to find time to spend his paycheck if he does this. He just ignores that, saying that it's $1000 a month that he otherwise wouldn't have.

Even that does nothing to assuage my fear. I have always taken care of myself and now I just can't. I am fiercely independent. Don't know how to come to an agreement with Michael about where on the budget list he will help with the bills. He showed me his plan on paper last night. I just don't understand but it looks like he has it all to work out that I seem to be continuing to pay all the bills. That was not exactly what I had in mind.

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