Today is December 18, 2017
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My favorite word is "phenomenal" by Dean Atlas
 
October 2017
7I used to fuck
8robbing and stealing
13strange haze
14almost killed me
15fuck with me
18soft and squishy
21gargantuan
29quit throbbing


December 2017
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December 2016

robbing and stealing
October 8, 2017

Tragically lost somewhere in the constant monotone humming sound that has become the soundtrack of my life. Dante Alighieri is laughing uncontrollably while I'm being buried neck deep in a mountain of boring shit I repeatedly keep having to do. Spinelessness is the reason why the working sector even exists. Why are we all working jobs we fucking hate? Less than 1% of the population has all the money!! The rest of us are just worker ants that only subsist to give the super wealthy the feeling that they are better than something. You've been bamboozled to believe that you're important. The trick was making the poor think that each and every one of them is special and unique. Your social security number should prove to you that you're just another statistic.

God that took an ornery tone pretty quickly. I was just trying to describe how my day at work sucked big donkey balls and I got into some fuck greed rant..sorry:)

My day was alright for the most part. Was short handed at work and I had to stay late. Wore out my heart for some reason. I don't mind staying later but when I'm all alone it starts to make me feel hopeless. Oh well, I'll shake it off.

Went to an N.A. meeting tonight after I got off work. I'm being forced to go to two meetings a week now. It wasn't that bad tonight. I usually learn at least one cool thing every time I go. I used to share with the group but I don't really talk now that I'm being forced to go. I also don't like to tell my daily routine and personal secrets to a crowd of folks that might be sober at the moment but only have a 10% chance of staying that way. And within just a couple of months could be running around town robbing and stealing to get high and unfortunately know all my personal bizz. So yeah it might be anonymous but my ass ain't talking to nobody. My other beef with N.A. is that it's all about having a higher power and I'm totally an agnostic asshole...so it kind of kills trying to do any step work. Some of my inspiration for staying sober for the long term is to show all these god fearing weirdos that you don't have to have a higher power to stay sober and be clean.

Patty Jo keeps texting me. I'm not sure if I'm ready yet to let a girl back in my heart and head. Girls are nothing but trouble. Wish me luck:)
 
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