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Morning Song by Darlinggirl
 
March 2004
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It's for her own good that the cat purrs...
March 19, 2004

And this kitty has much to purr about, she does!!! Really though, I should probably wait at least 'til some of the rush of this past trip deserts me before I even think of attempting to write myself about it. Don't think so...it's going to take a while to calm down and come back to earth. (Don't look out the window, young lady. Don't even think of looking out the window and keep those lace curtains and drapes and blinds firmly, solidly closed.)

Things to put down to come back and give them justice:

1.) Baby BlackAngus calves dancing and kicking up their heels and the absolute delight Himself took in spying their dance! (We've pictures, too.)

2.) The LaQuinta in Weatherford or was it GrandPrairie, Texas?

3.) The Airport LaQuinta in Louisville. (Bad, bad kitty.)

4.) A LittleRock, Arkansas LaQuinta...and I must go into my secret love affair with that whole state!

*Beginning soaring flashback music of choice* Cheri and I have been crossing the Natural State much of our teen years 'til our early twenties and I've taken Himself through the state at least oh, eight times all total...and this trip, where our spirits were high and our privacy total, as we pulled up into TexArkana (and yes, it's really Twice-As-Nice.)without even thinking before speaking, at the state rest stop, as I leapt from the truck, barefoot, and made straight for a greening patch of wildflowers, I hollered, "Now it's okay for me to BREATHE!!!"

(This exhalation of pure unrestrained joy led to a long explanation to Himself about how each and every time I ever wandered about in Arkansas some one always offered to buy me things...and flirted and said the nicest things to me. (At fourteen, a particularly nice and terribly sexy man offered to purchase the magazines I was pondering over. He had two adorable little boys with him and the way he put it was just so: "If you think you want those, darlin', I'll get them for you." Too bad my father was standing about two feet away...heehee. Just for the record, my response was very correct: "Oh, that's really sweet of you but no thank you!!! Exactly what it would have been if I had been in the store alone. My grandmother brought me/us up correctly, she did.)I am still puzzling over Himself's reaction and little chuckles of laughter as I shared with him my experiences traveling through Arkansas.

I slipped soooo totally into what my mind calls the Orginial Girl, that as we stood sandwiched between an immense, frizzy haired lady and a silver-templed black man in a very busy Wendy's resturant in Hope, Arkansas...I stepped backwards as my husband placed his hands on my shoulders...and *lowers voice* slid my bottom right up against the front of his jeans and just about did that little teasing-slide he likes sooooo much...IN PUBLIC!!! Stopped in just the nick of time.)

5.) Memphis Mississippi Magnolias: Mud Island.

6.) Getting totally lost on one lane-black top roads and having the courage and gumption to approach the roughest, toughest, meanest backwoods types to sweetly ask for directions...powering the tinted window down and just reverting back to type, I suppose. This happened in Tennessee in serious 'shine country and Western Kentucky. Heehee.

7.) Being smiled at by lots of people. Praising babies and tee-shirts...counting StarsAndBars on trucks, vehicles and belt buckles.

8.) Standing on that ridge above the RollingFork and allowing myself to feel my history, my love, my soul-deep connection to my home. Explaining passionately to Himself as I pointed to a far smoky-blue razor-back ridge...my grandfather, his father, so on and so on all lived and died within sight of this ridge. Generations upon generation, including ME...born and bred there.

9.) Starbuck's coffee and Big Macs and CherryHash candies and Ten-Year-Old Bourbon...oh my.

10.) Running down steep slopes behind my aunt's house on their farm and vanishing into thickets of hardwood and lacy white dogwood. (One of my first memories is my grandmother holding me in her arms and telling the legend of the Dogwood.)

11.) Almost forgetting that it's okay to sit in various old friends', loves', and relatives' laps...and none of us are as young as we used to be either! Heehee.

12.) More hugs, kisses, neck-hugging, pet-names, baby-names and my actual name in just a few hours than almost the whole previous year AND no one called me "Mom." I think some of them still don't really think of me as a mom anyway. As the song says, and it's so very heart-breakingly true: "You're always seventeen in your hometown.

13.) Making love AND and just plain ol' F**king and playing games and secret little rituals and losing socks and cami-tops and slips (I lose more lingerie that way!)and that whole magic singing silvery-gold rose-pink way He treats me...I can watch him go back further and further to what in my heart I call his TrueSelf. It's no joke that really, the only times I feel honestly myself is when He is honestly Himself . I need to ponder on this: The process of the roles sliding away like hand-me-down burdens that don't have a thing to do with us.

14.)The Dean's terminal on Newbern Road. *Tears, lots of tears.*

15.) Introducing Himself to HuddleHouse. (Kind of an acquired taste one may think...heehee.)

16.) Seeing Himself off on the plane...so jealous, so heart-broken at not being able to accompany him to a city I adore...don't get me started on where he's staying. Oh, it's just perfect. Getting back.

17.) Don't forget this...ever, ever, ever: Around E'town, these words:" I don't know what it's like to have a place to come from. I never had a place to come from. I never had a home at-all 'til we made ours. I want to come from here, too." Oh, talk about tugging at one's heart.

18.) The difficulty of being here. I am soooo tired and I wanted that trip to never, ever, ever end.

19.) Strange hour for thinking about bed...so I'll soldier on and get the laundry going and maybe, later, after some serious sleep time I can at least try and sort some of this all out.

20.) WHAT is it about the month of March anyway?? I swear about half of our family in Texas is totally imploding.





 
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