|The Stockings Are Here....|
November 29, 2014
Quiet day here. Mom made sauce for the stuffed shells for Brother's birthday on Tues. I decorated for Christmas. Not a big deal, really. We don't bother with a tree, but I brought some of my 'special' things that I really wanted to put out. So, the creche is up, my "Jingle Pals" are out on the table, the bells are on the front door, a few special ornaments are on the bookcase. Most importantly, Barsky's and Panache's Christmas stockings are hung.
Barsky always loved Christmas. He'd get all excited every time he saw me putting up his stocking. He'd keep checking it to see if there was anything there. On Christmas, we'd let him open his stocking first. He loved sticking his nose into the stocking and finding his treats. He also loved helping us open our Christmas presents. He loved tearing the paper off the boxes. He was so funny to watch.
When I was taking his stocking down for what would be the last time, he looked at me so sadly. I promised him I'd hang it again next year......and I've kept that promise every year since.
Panache's experiences with Christmas were different, since my ex and I separated when she was only a year old, so she only had one Christmas with both of us. After that, our Christmases were generally quiet and unexciting. But she had a stocking, and always got a Greenie and some treats. She didn't get as excited as Barsky did, but she was bright enough to know that that stocking meant there were would be treats, and she'd check it regularly.
Last year, she checked it, and, finding it empty, came and told me it needed to be filled.....RIGHT THEN. Never mind this waiting till Christmas crap.....she knew that stocking was supposed to have something in it! (naturally, I obliged)
As I hung my babies' stockings, I cried. I cried more when the mail came, and I got a sympathy card from my friend Jonathan. I cry every time I turn on my mother's laptop (which I'm still using, till I get a network card for my desktop). Her desktop picture is my favorite photo of Panache. And it tears my heart every time I see it.
I don't quite feel in the holiday spirit yet. Not sure whether I will or not this year. But I figure I at least made an effort by decorating, even minimally.
Mom is already getting worked up over all the cooking and baking we 'have' to do. (I don't see why we have to do so much....but I'm not going to argue with her. I'll just shut up and help)
Mom and Brother are in the great room watching TV. I'm in my bedroom, listening to "A Prairie Home Companion" on the computer. I'm glad I can still listen to the classical radio station from home.....there doesn't appear to be one here, and I'd miss my favorite programs.
I've been here nearly a month now, but I still feel like I have one foot in NY and one foot here. My heart is still up north, although it's nice here, and I like it OK more or less.
I ordered myself a Garmin GPS unit today. It's due to be delivered on Tues (Brother's birthday). I hope it will help boost my confidence in getting around, although I'm not 100% confident putting my trust in gadgetry. (how's that for a Catch-22?)
Well, guess I don't have much more to write about,so I'll close here and listen to the rest of "Prairie Home Companion".