July 25, 2012
Been thinking about how this leg thing is affecting my life. Seems the things I started have come to a screeching halt. On hold until this is sorted out. I forget sometimes that it is only a few months from the time I stopped the two job thing and began to build a new life again. I get impatient for results. I feel like I am bing left behind...........by who and what I can't tell you but that is the closest I can come to explaining the feeling.
I know how to rebuild my life or should I say accept the change and adapt to new realities I guess you could say? This problem with my legs is difficult because I don't know what those realities will be. Will this go away? Will this get worse? Will it come and go? Will it kill me?.......Yup it is a real enigma......that's what my doc called me.....an enigma.
So this morning I decided I will simply go on and adapt as the need arises. So the big question is what direction given the parameters this affection has presented? Riding the bike is out. Standing too long is not an option. So how do I "do"? What do I do? How do I build?.........
Maybe that answer is here......right where I am? Maybe I am not supposed to "build" right now? Maybe I am supposed to be still, look and listen? Just maintain?......wish I had an answer.
On a funnier note.......the woman that was calling that I thought was my ex was not my ex........she was a customer. Same initials........damn caller id! She is as much a pain in the ass as the ex but still at least I get paid to put up with her nonsense. So lesson learned. Just answer the phone and if it is the ex just tell her not to call again.
Things I am thankful for:
Eggs, bacon, toast and coffee.......