March 20, 2017
Knee is much better. Still painful but tolerable.......normal pain LOL.
I normally get a pedicure to take care of my feet but with my hip and knee bothering me I couldn't do my regular thing and needed help. It was a struggle but I asked my ex for help. I didn't want to. It always opens up these conversations about the past and the same ground gets covered which is......honestly........tiring.
I appreciated her help. She came over and I didn't feel any negative response to what she was doing or how I needed help. I appreciated that.......but........the inevitable conversation came up. Her asking about our son and what she did to warrant his behavior.
So much time has passed and whole lives have been built since all this happened. Good lives not only for Sean and myself but for her too. So I just said what was in my heart. No pulled punches. If she listens fine if not fine. I don't have a stake in this game. Sean doesn't either at this point. What I said was for her and her life. What choices she makes for herself. Sean and I have moved on. I did say that if she were able to build a new relationship with Sean....one that didn't try to fix the past but started from the present, she may have something with him. Something more than she has now. My words were not intended to hurt her. I didn't say them in ways that did that but I didn't make any bones about what she as her family had done and the fact that her son had built a life that didn't include her anymore. Not because he didn't love her but because to include her was to allow this denial disease into his life and he can't tolerate it. I hope she understood......hard to tell with her.
Life other than that is good. So happy to wake up with this knee feeling better. It has been so difficult and so disheartening.
Things I am thankful for: