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Finding My Way by Finding My Way
 
April 2017
1Ryan
2Into the Woods
3Mom and her grandkids
4Emmett
5Ashley
10Friendship
12Gator
18Rest in Peace Mr. Godwin...
19Thirteen Reasons Why
23Fired


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Thirteen Reasons Why
April 19, 2017

This will be another no pic entry...

I've been watching the Netflix series "13 Reasons Why" and I cry during every episode. I just got thru the sixth "reason why". Part of me wants to stop watching because it's SO intense but the other part of me needs to keep watching because I KNOW that feeling of depression and suicide.

I can only watch one episode a day.

I think back to my single "dark day" as I call it. I'll have to look back through my journal to see when it was or if I even was strong enough to write about it. But I remember that day.

I remember where I was. What I was thinking about. How I planned on doing it. I had to get it right. I cried for hours. I don't know where I got the strength to leave my apartment and drive to my sister's house. I just know my reason behind not giving in was because of Bailey, my cat. He wasn't sick then but he was still so very mean. I knew if I was gone no one in my family would take care of him. They would all put him to sleep and I couldn't let that happen.

Such a silly reason not to commit suicide.

I remember showing up at my sister's door and she couldn't even tell that something was wrong. She didn't see my tear stained face...or she chose not to.

People who have struggled with depression and suicide have gotten tattoos of a semicolon to signify when a writer doesn't want a sentence to end or...

; my story doesn't end
 
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