May 28, 2014
I do not forgive you. I will not accept. I don't fear you. not personally speaking. but in general, and specifically speaking, I truly hate you for your arbitrary ways. for your thefts. for your neglects. why some and not others. omg, I find you so impossible to understand. my heart breaks. again. and again.
I hate you. even if times I pray for you.
I will probably NEVER understand you.
this much I have come to understand. our only... our best revenge against you is life. dreams of our most dear life. that there is only this day. today. in which to live that life. to wake to it. to be in it. to know deeply that it is this moment only that we are guaranteed to be in. to know deeply. to live fully.
can I thank you for that? no. I can't. because you have stolen too much, too dearly. you are far, far too cruel for gratitude. ever. ever. do you hear me??? far far too harsh and cruel. who can measure the depths of that?