Today is May 26, 2017
Join Now! | Home | Sign in | FAQ | Help
pebble scratchings by siri
 
May 2017
17healers
20history repeating


May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
January 2004
December 2003

healers
May 17, 2017

confession: I've been struggling lately. usually believing that love will win, that justice and truth have a tenacious persistent will to find the light that no amount of greed or deception can deter, I've caved. I just can't right myself.

usually a peptalk, I went to church a couple weeks back badly needing something uplifting but Nathan was speaking that sunday and he was rattled by the recent death of yet another young black man in dallas. he was flying back from a couple conferences and lobbying in Washington dc and then NC with a layover in dallas. he had just enough time there to watch the local news about a community (again) in turmoil over this recent shooting. not only was the young man killed but his brother was also being held in jail and when their father went to the police station to see about both his sons the father was also arrested! so the sermon was about suffering. and I suppose it was along the lines of first we suffer, then we rise. except that day, I just couldn't get past yet another instance of suffering. my soul obviously wasn't ready to rise.

the next day at a Samaritan meeting I pulled s aside afterwards and told her how low I felt, that I needed a minute, maybe some of her usual s shine would wear off on me. and she mentioned a monk offering a visual to her once when she asked him this same question, how to get beyond the suffering, how to get back to the rise. he pinched his fingers together in the air over his heart, then raised his pinched hand over his head and opened his fingers, a pantomime gesture of plucking the sadness from one's heart, then the release on the winds, letting it go.

so many times that week, reading or watching the news, I pulled up that visual.

s called later that day. could I come over for coffee early Monday? we could sit together and talk a little.

s is very busy. I hated to take her time. but she insisted.

so on Monday, at 8.30 we visited.

let me just say this...i'm so grateful for the strong women in my life. I've known many. and I've known a few that are so remarkably strong, such powerful souls even tho they are inside such diminutive and gentle bodies and gestures. and you know, don't you, when some new mentor comes into your life? someone so connected to a higher plane of living and thinking and loving that just being in their presence for minutes your whole being knows on the deepest level that you will remember them, that they will shape and influence your life forever more.

she doesn't watch much news. just enough she says to get the highlights. she's too busy for more. i was only there about 1 and a half hours. her phone rang 3 times on Samaritan issues.

on Monday, in my email inbox, i found this: Idea of the Week: Kindness in Action: Spend Some Time with Someone that Nourishes You. that's when i knew i was supposed to interrupt s's early morning on Monday and spend some time with her.

do you want some coffee s asked? well, do you have it made already? oh no, she said, but i can make some for us. oh, no, i said, don't go to that trouble. but, r, her husband, said, oh, that's a mistake. you really want some of s's coffee. no one makes coffee as well as s. so we laughed and i said, well, in that case, yes, i guess i must!

you know how the Japanese turn tea making into a ceremony?

that is how s makes coffee. it's like a work of art. the care, the presence, the ritual, the presentation like a gift. it's impossible to forget s making coffee. or the froth on your lips as you take the first sip on her back patio.

so yes, nourishing. and healing.

on Tuesday, we took, s driving, the Samaritan van down to the border and across to el comedor. there were about 35 there that day. a few men in the clothes they'd been issued on the day of their release from prison. cold, that morning, they arrived in blue t shirts. s ran for the donated sweaters as soon as she saw them, holding up sweaters, guessing sizes. and women there too, one having just been torn from her children in Houston only a couple days ago. but i'm not a criminal she'd told the ice officers. yes, yes you are they said and took her away in handcuffs. her two children are now living with relatives, her husband in detention on his way to deportation currently in CO. who knows why? she was whisked away with only the clothes she was wearing also. so grateful for the few items we had to offer.


on Monday, s showed me a small book of drawings made by children who had survived the Nazi camps. 15000 children, only about 1100 survived. the book is a book of the drawings from those who survived. s, at el comedor, whenever children are there, asks them to make a drawing too. we looked at the book first, then the drawings she's collected over the years from the migrants. they are so telling. so very similar. so direct. like arrows to the heart. then she showed me a butterfly. a real one, she'd found on the sidewalk. it was dead. but so perfect! really, as if someone had preserved it at it's most perfect form just as it took its last breath. no longer alive, but all its beauty still very much alive, just resting there in s's palm.

carrie newcomer, "Gavin, the UPS driver stepped out of the truck in front of Janet's house. He picked up a small card lying on the sidewalk. He read, 'There is still wonder in the world." It's been propped up on his dashboard ever since."

i'm still feeling low and fragile. but i'm feeling so much better than i was. i have some visuals now to help me. s making coffee. her pinched fingers opening, letting suffering go. a butterfly resting in her palm. it's not exactly a note on a dashboard, just memories in my mind, reminding my heart, indeed, there are still wonders in this world.

and, she told me, she wanted to meet me for coffee because she wanted to invite me to something else, if i'm free, if i might like to go. a group she sometimes goes to. they meet on Thursdays at someone's house. they meditate together for a while. then afterwards they talk, share some light food, cookies, nuts, walk around the garden maybe. would i like to come maybe?

i would like. yes. i would most definitely like.



 
Login to select
your favorite journals

PrevTopNext
 
 

Visit my Forum

© Website Copyright 2017 by My-Journal.com
© Journal Content Copyright 2017 by the Author
 
Terms of Service Agreement
 
Privacy Policy