February 2, 2008
don't throw your glances at me for
i'm not allowed to catch them anymore.
well i'm damned if i do and,
if i don't then i hate me
for pretending that i don't love you
in the tiny way i do.
but you're not mine to love,
and not mine to think of
on nights he holds me, whispers loving
truths into my ear.
and while he does i hate me
for wishing they were your words, from your
and you speak to me with brief
silences, and grief...
they scream the secrets you
and i, and she, won't allow you to
voice. you can't, i can't. we can't.
and i will watch you when i know
you're probably paying attention to my show
of affection because that's the way i work,
deviously and cheating in the most
harmless way i can think of.
poison, somehow, in my defense and
lacking in my reasons.