April 13, 2018
The Money Saving Mom had a vlog earlier this week about how no matter what is going on in your life, you are not stuck. It was an encouraging post, as I find a lot of hers to be. She used her life as an example for what she meant. She & her husband were leading the expected life - he as a lawyer, she as a home-schooling mom with a blog on the side. They are both goal-driven & those roles worked for them in the beginning. It gave them the money to live a debt-free life & even buy their house with cash. But, after a while, they realized they weren't living the life they wanted. They didn't have much family time. They could have continued on, feeling stuck in their roles, or they could do something about it. They chose to "un-stick" their lives.
Stories like this, messages like this, they speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm a textbook first-born. I do what is expected & thrive on approval of TPTB. And sometimes, it leaves me feeling stuck in life - like everything has already been cast, and all I get to do is go through the motions.
It makes me think of one of my favorite movies - Under the Tuscan Sun. Maybe what draws me to it, is the main character does the unexpected. She realizes that she is becoming stuck in her life, so she goes on a trip. And then she buys a Tuscan Villa ... unplanned & on her own.
I've felt utterly stuck before. One instance that comes to mind is when I was going to college. I was miserable at the first school I went to, but I felt stuck there. Going there was expected. It kept me on the predetermined path of my life. When I finally figured out a way to un-stick myself, how the new projectory of my life was still acceptable, then life got much easier. And much more enjoyable. But, it required action & a willingness to change.
Do I feel stuck now? No, not really. I feel like I'm living an expected life, but it works for me at the moment. One of the local indie dyers has decided to open a store front. She placed ads looking to hire some help. I thought it could be an interesting change. She would teach you how to do the dying. You would help with the store, as well as with her etsy orders. She's local. It would get me out of the house, but I wouldn't have to commute. Her store is in the same strip mall as our favorite micro-brew (how cool is that!). She's about the same age as me & also has just 1 daughter, only a couple of years older than mine. She would be completely flexible with school & mamma responsibilities. It has some perks. I told Brad about this opportunity, and he looked at me as if I had 3 heads. *sighs* Realistically though, I know her "competitive pay" would be about 1/4 what I make. 1/3 at the most. Could we survive on that? Of course. But we'd have to start budgeting or something crazy like that. Ha. I know he would have supported me, if I had pushed the issue. He would probably never understand it, but he would be supportive.
For now, I'm content with where I am. I have a job, that while boring sometimes, allows me to work remotely. It gives me freedom and flexibility like I've never had before. I don't feel "stuck" in my marriage, and I hope that I never will. I don't feel "stuck" with a kid - if anything, time is passing much too quickly there. Life is too short to spend any time feeling stuck in place.