Because... by biggmamaz
February 2005
1One and the Same...
2He Came....
3Quiet Days....Bellering Nights's past midnight./STAT!/My Reminder
5As long and as far as..../...Stranger...Logic
6Her Tension Mounts
7Allowing me to Cumm
8Some Action
13Perceptions of Future Generations
14...maybe i care too much...
15My Body Aches for Him, Again!
16Pooh Tang/Animal Instinct
17Bastards Galore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/New Site...
19...Again, Fallen Prey?/Come True/Fine Thread-Without Knot
20...Vivid Memories/...Precious...
21nothin' but VOID
22Surfing/Riding High...
24Mind Set/...later/Promises of Utmost Urgency!
25I will Never/I Learned/Over Excited!!!!!
26Hope/Day of Sabbath
27An Untouchable/...Dark Side/School Marm Type
28Alone's past midnight./STAT!/My Reminder
February 4, 2005

i am sooooo very glad that it's past midnight. That means i may add another thought about my Young Master Dom! Hmmm. Yes, i could, because then i definitely won't hear from him...unless i become angry...but that may take a long time to happen.

My, now deceased Father, maintained that it is only idiots that are quick to anger. He was born in 1906. More recent studies substantiate this thought with their statistics indicating that the higher your IQ, the more capable you are at resolving and foreseeing problems. Meaning, what my Father always said..."Any idiot can get mad (angry) but only the smart ones know how not to!"

Yes, I pondered with that one for many years, from the time i was six years old...always looking to find a smart man...someone who was not quick to anger...i have at long last found him....My Young Master/Dom!

i was fortunate enough to discover him prior to my 52nd birthday. I, because I was born in December... was 52 for only 18 days. This site determined i aged another year when Jan.1st was celebrated. This has caused my Young Dom to feel that i am closer to senility and now refers to me as an old lady. Yes, i ought to be angry, but with whom????
Maybe i am old. It's just not realised because I work at Nursing Homes. So, all the beloved patients are 65-105yrs. old. So, i don't feel the least bit old with being 52. Maybe my Young Dom feels younger when he's with me and just loves to expound on that. Oh, another thing, i've always looked younger than my chronological years. For instance, when I graduated high school, I could not get a job, because I looked like I was 14 yrs old! I felt so bad when many of the employers accused me of having a fake driver's license. My parents were always upset too. But, i must say now, after encountering my Young Master's opinion who has only confirmed my 20-27 yr old sons description of me, well, it's just plain demoralizing. Sure, i'm older than all of them, but i am more young at heart than any one of them.

That's why i had no reservations with committing to my Young Dom. My Master and i look compatable together. His only picture is one taken 5-6 years ago. At that time of my life, He would have been mistaken as a possible elder sibling to me. Probably, today, He still is...And as far as my sons go, well they are quickly becoming old fogies too. I am much more daring than all four of those men put together! Maybe that's another reason why my Young Master avoids me...i may be too much for only him to handle. With Him, i am quick to apologize when i find myself possibly overstepping...but He is the only person that has my obedience to that extent. Yet and still, i worry that I may wander to other men, because i need more sex. Sure, doing devotions, i think are intended for a Master's absence, but i will find other than masterbation activities that suddenly must be done instead. To me, sex is supposed to be shared between two lovers...who love one another.

Kneeling before my Young Master is a cherished act that also brings joy-to both of us. Gees, writing in this journal today was an activity to prevent me from thinking about my Master's Love...our private behind the closed door activities...oh, how those thoughts make the blood rush to not only my groins, but now my vag is beginning to throb...again...OMG, i have to go vacuum the carpeting or something...then hang up some clothes, scour the bathtub, clean the toilets (2), yes, both of them. STAT!!!!!!!!!
I am so outrageously satisfied upon my return from work!
After consulting with the surgeon I found out that the ABT's did the trick! I do not have to have the mesh removed from my abd! Fantastic-no more scars!!!! I still am wondering what design of tattoo to have done to cover up the original, healed surgical site. Definitely need my Dom's opinion about that one...

I'm even more estatic that I'm reassigned to a sister facility that's closer to where I live! And I'll be in the computers 0930-1730 M-F's! I'm absolutely delirious with happiness!!!!!!! They're confident that I'm the one to catch them up on their paperworks. I do so much love to write! But it will be all medical answering all the what's wrong, probable cause, probable outcome, whether or not the tx's, labs, consults, and rx's are appropriate which also justifies why the patients may require to be at an extended care facility. And/or to obtain orders from the physician if anything was overlooked... Very deliberate writings. No personality from me allowed! A regular nerd type job as I must always be able to site my references...yes, Nursing too is an exact science... Needless to say, this is my favorite part of Nursing, but I can not help but to do hands on care while I'm interviewing and examining patients and their family members...My work has a sexless atmosphere 24/7.

But my nights...they remain mine! Only having to answer to one person. My young Master/Dom! And He always brings His joy back into my life....who knows, He may be the Only One that is capable of doing that, for the remainder of my life. He is my reminder that i am woman! And does he ever make me roar!! All i can think of is his name when that happens-said privately, behind our closed door....
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