Because... by biggmamaz
February 2005
1One and the Same...
2He Came....
3Quiet Days....Bellering Nights's past midnight./STAT!/My Reminder
5As long and as far as..../...Stranger...Logic
6Her Tension Mounts
7Allowing me to Cumm
8Some Action
13Perceptions of Future Generations
14...maybe i care too much...
15My Body Aches for Him, Again!
16Pooh Tang/Animal Instinct
17Bastards Galore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/New Site...
19...Again, Fallen Prey?/Come True/Fine Thread-Without Knot
20...Vivid Memories/...Precious...
21nothin' but VOID
22Surfing/Riding High...
24Mind Set/...later/Promises of Utmost Urgency!
25I will Never/I Learned/Over Excited!!!!!
26Hope/Day of Sabbath
27An Untouchable/...Dark Side/School Marm Type
I will Never/I Learned/Over Excited!!!!!
February 25, 2005

I Must Have! (2 Views)


biggmamaz, 52 F
(67 Articles, Score 17)

Why I could never fulfill his dreams,
I will never understand...
He being he, I being me
Me being our dreams,
Dreams, I know, being for dreamers- sea or land-
I am no longer dreaming of he
He is no longer worthy of beliefs...

Nightmares are scarey
That's why I am leary
But he, as a dream, as a nightmare, is not my reality
No, I will no longer dream of he


Know what? There really is nothing more disappointing, to those of the Jewish faith, than to be told on Thurs night, by a potential love, that he will be out WITH a friend- all of Friday night until after Saturday evening. That kind of ranks right up there with a husband returning home in the wee hours of the morning to directly tell you..

"so, you said you want to be my best friend...well, ok...then promise not to be upset. Ok? Alright, best friend, for the first time in my life, I am in love. Yes! Guess with who?? Come on, you said you are my best friend....No! I'm in love with someone else...she's about 10 yrs younger than us...I think we married too young, we were only 23. I should never have married you. I should have wainted until, like now...41...No, now that I have her...I know I really don't love you...but we can still be friends!!!!Shit...I knew you'd be like this, why are you crying? friends don't cry when I tell them things like this...GOD DAMN IT-SHUT THE FUCK UP-NO SHE'S NOT A WHORE YOU BITCH THAT'S WHY I HAVE HER YOU FUCKEN BITCH! YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS-YOU'RE THE WHORE!!!! I FUCKED YOU AND NOW YOU'RE SCREWED!!! BITCH!!! PICK UP THAT FUCKIN RING AND PUT IT BACK ON...DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST ME??? BITCH YOU STOLE MY CHILDHOOD-I WAS ONLY 23...FUCKEN BITCH! YOU MADE ME A FATHER AT 25-I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET PREGNANT-YOU WHORE!!! NOW TRY LIVING WITH THAT-I CAN'T!!!! NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT!!!"

I hardly felt the slap that followed...still wearing the broken bloodvessels on that cheek... I never will turn the other cheek, never! That's why I converted from cristianity to, i never will be wearing broken blood vessles on each cheek...i learned from the best!!!_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________1417
Just happens to be one of those days that I should never have come into consciousness! Arrived for my 1215 appt with the doc and all the lights were out! So I phoned, the girl told me that he's relocated-but he's called out on an emergency so to reschedule. After waiting 5 min on my pay as you go cell, I hung up.

After sitting at his former location's sitting room for another 5, I phoned back, made the appt for Mon 0830 and verified that his old location is the one that's 10 miles closer to my home.

Not much fun traveling through wet, misty snow with only one windshield wiper. Of course chug-a-lug decided to be just as cold as the doc's phone girl. She doen't care to hear about my chronic abd burning pain, chug-a-lug decided not to provide heat.

Fine, so I pulled into the Instant Oil Change place. Of course for $53.00 they would not only change the oil but also check all its fluids and replace the wipers. Fine, I really didn't want to have groceries anyway.

Discovered I can't fantasise about fat fuck oils station receptionists! Simply decided he has a wrinkled, marshmello like, indwelling dick. How sad, because...

He could not replace the pain of my missing MIA Young Dom!
Unlike Young Dom, he could not suggest the slightest initial pulse felt within my cunt, signaling it's initial aromas from its beginning to juice. I wasn't even aware of my 42C cup abundatly pleasing breasts. Unlike ,as with my Dom, he did not have to worry about my nipples pooching, screaming to be slowly suckled, He advancing to desperate suction as with a starving babe, before realizing Biggmamaz juices are a plentiful meal-for the right his tongue searches slowly down my side, avoiding to entangle it within my camisole's dry lace...His thin wet tongue stopping briefly at my hardening clit to tease it, as this increases the aromas from where His nourishment lies...

Nope, the Fat Fuck couldn't touch me! He couldn't entice me. But as with my current Dom, nor did he try to....

All I know, now, is that I am ready, willing and waiting for any and everything that may come my way! But if the day continues it's already established pattern, nothing satisfactory is coming...not Young Dom, nor will I cummm for that matter.

Once parked at home, I managed to lock the driver's side wind wipe into place, more permantly I hope. The addition of water into Chug-a-Lug's previously empty radiator while at the lube center,allowed its heater to forcefully heat it's interior...I wonder if I heat my own interior within my light blue silk panties, overlayed by a black slip and matching thigh high nylons, if anyone will notice, the next time I go driving that I am fingering myself at stop lights...I don't think they will...not even Young Dom will suspect... if so,i plan to angrily yell out: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffff AAAAhhhhhhAAhhhhahhhhAhhhTTTTTtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFock!
(Yes, I have a hx of stuttering when, OVER excited!)

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