1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 
July 2017

Still Lost
July 15, 2017

2:15am

Still haven't heard from Z. I got a message day before yesterday from his cousin that he'd been working for needing to get into his workshop for the pieces he'd been preparing for her. I got over there, she showed up all upset, crying over some family drama. She finally calmed down and was able to think of a different way to haul the pieces, her first option fell through,, hence the drama. While waiting for her son in his pick up, Z's life long friend, K, stopped by. He said he'd been trying to reach someone for a week, couldn't get his son to answer the door, couldn't reach Z online or by phone. He was really concerned. I talked to him for quite awhile, he told me Z had talked about me quite a bit while they were going to the auctions together. He said Z told him he likes me a lot, but when he asked about us getting into an actual relationship Z said he couldn't, and that really confused K. He said he understands now why he couldn't. Talking to him really helped me understand more of where I stand in our "relationship". I also know now, he calls me Bob, because when we first met he couldn't remember my name, but he could remember the conversation we had during our first "date" on New Years (talking about what he'd name a band, said he'd name it Bob 'cause it's easy to yell out). I was never quite sure how I got saddled with it. lol He also told me Z was really happy when I gave him the saw blade I painted for him, said he couldn't wait to show it off. Smile

I sent him off another letter today,, yesterday now. My life has gone back to where the only person I talk to again on a daily basis is my Ma. I'm trying reallllly hard not to let the depression overtake me. I'm trying to stay busy, painting, playing Sims, working out. It's getting easier, but I'm afraid to be away from the phone in case he calls. I should be trying to find my ass a job, but that's the last thing I want to do right now. Been working on setting up the upstairs bedroom up for him in case he wants/needs a place to go when he gets out. Yea, I know that's still a ways in the future, but it's keeping me busy. And it's been a hellova work out, most of the stuff I've decided to use in that room up there, was in the basement. That's 2 flights of stairs, one is rather steep, carrying up a TV, a heavy ass glass top table, the VCR and surround sound system, the glass shelf dealy to put all the electronics on,, all by myself. That was my work out for the day.

I'm loving my new yoga swing. Just wish I could find someplace to hang it inside the house. It's so fucking hot in the garage, it really saps my motivation.


Damn, I miss him. I need to quit moping though. I know he and I have a connection, we're probably feeding off each other's depression. I try to keep my letters to him upbeat, but that's not what I'm feeling. I'm happy that I know now that he evidently wants me to wait for him, and now confirmation from K that he does indeed like me. But disheartened because we have to wait a year (or more,,, please don't let it be more,,,) to do anything more about it.


Jar of Flies
by Maze
Join Now!
Home
My-Journal.com
Sign in
FAQ
Help

November 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
May 2014
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
March 2011
February 2011
September 2010
October 2009
June 2009
April 2009
February 2009
January 2009
October 2008
September 2008
December 2007
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
January 2005
September 2004
May 2004
April 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002

  
Login to select
your favorite journals

PrevTopNext
 

Visit my Forum

© Website Copyright 2017 by My-Journal.com
© Journal Content Copyright 2017 by the Author
 
Terms of Service Agreement
 
Privacy Policy