November 9, 2017
Well things are getting back to normal around here. Bumping into Sandy was rather jolting to say the least.
But no, I am not depress. It's when I am around Sandy, and the other 'group' of women I went to school with that I feel inadequate. I feel like I don't 'belong' in that circle of successful ladies. I do not begrudge their successes and I am happy for their many accomplishments. However, our socio-economic status does creates an invisible barrier which cannot be overlooked. Our lives have taken different roads based on individual choices/decisions.
I need a friend/confidant that I can relate to and vice versa. And someone who can relate to or at least understand the sacrifices of single parenting (not to mention single parent of a child with special needs). None of the 'ladies' are parents. They are mostly single with no children.
Tab is my success story . From her early years in early intervention then to a self-contained special education classroom which did nothing for her and led to meetings after meetings to GET HER OUT and finally she was placed in an inclusion/co-teach classroom. Through it all, I dealt with her aggressive behaviors/meltdowns/suspensions calls after calls from teachers/principals/aides/psychologist etc. At one time, they wanted to place her on medication and I adamantly refused. Without the assistance from family or friends (a support system) it was difficult keeping a full-time job but I muddled through and today she is a High School graduate and College freshman. It was a long arduous road with many tears but here we are. Out all the students who started with Tab in that special education classroom, Tab is the only one who graduated on schedule AND with a High School Diploma.
I thank the teacher who told me that Tab would never learn to read above a third grade level and I thank the Daycare Provider who told me my daughter had 'demonic' issues and her needs could not be accommodated there. It woke me up to the realities of raising a child with special needs. Those many days spent doing the ABCs, flashcards, reading and reviewing classroom work with Tab paid off. I was determined that Tab would learn how to read and I couldn't leave it to the school system (I knew Tab was a handful). I recently saw a news reel about the many students with disability who graduate high school without ever learning how to read.
I have no regrets. I look at her today and I am filled with pride and joy .