|...life's most precious gifts|
May 2, 2013
I keep thinking of Retta...
About how thankful I am to have her in my life...but wait...I have been feeling extraordinarily thankful all day--perhaps even more so than I usually do. Each day that I awaken I feel such a joy and I feel like the Universe has just handed me this very special gift to unwrap. Why do I feel like that? It puzzles me sometimes...(bear with me, I'm trying to figure all this out as I go along). But seriously, my eyes pop open and I just feel so SPECIAL from within, like each and every day I am given is precious and that I have to/I must make it the very best day that I can and do something extremely special with it...not just exist and just plain BE, but find a way to make sure that others who cross my path know just how very appreciative I am that I am here on this journey, sharing it with my fellow mankind that are all on their own journeys too.
Even though finances are a struggle for me right now and for my sweet Blue Eyes and Handsome Man, as well--I feel so very blessed. And happy.
You see, of late, it's truly sunk in that I do not need fancy things or possessions to make me feel happiness--what I need and want most of all as I journey through this life is to know that the ones I love and care about understand the depth of love that I hold for them and also realize that I honest to goodness do indeed feel fortunate for each one who shares this existence with me.
Naturally, those that I have contact with in my immediate life and those I am related to by blood expect me to love them and care and I expect myself to do just that too--but if any of them knew just how deeply and profoundly I do love them, I'm not even sure they would understand. But I sat down today and wrote thank you notes to each of my sisters and my brothers (I come from a family of 7 kids -- one of my younger sisters died as a baby) and I had to take a few moments to tell them just how very blessed and grateful I feel to have each of them in my life. I do, you know. My family means the world to me and I try hard to convey that to them every so often--especially when I sense that they are struggling with all the angst that happens in their day to day lives. I mailed my thank you notes...though it probably would have been just as easy to deliver them in person, but in today's world, it's such a treat to get a personal note/card/letter in the mail and I thought this way it would be just a tiny surprise for my sisters and brothers and might even make them smile for a good part of the day that it shows up in their mailbox.
I keep thinking of Retta...
She and I got to speak for two full hours on the phone today and it was while talking to her that my heart fluttered with such love and joy and the realization that family is so very precious...she's been without her husband of 50 plus years now since October of 2012 and she still has days when it feels like it's been forever since she has been with the love of her life, yet through the love of her family and the love of me and my family, she has begun to smile and have fun and to rejoice that she is still here with us to receive this huge love that we hold for her. I keep telling her that Walt is nearby too (I certainly feel his presence at times) and she says there are times when she feels him near too...but she still misses him so much.
But I also felt Retta's unwavering and enormous love for me as we visited on the phone. She is always there for me with big sisterly advice, with encouragement and a type of sisterly pride in any tiny achievement I have in my life. All my life, growing up I dreamed of having a big sister, wanted one so desperately, and Retta has filled that void and made my wishes come true. She makes me feel so blessed just by being who she is, but then--that's how I feel about my younger sisters and my brothers--just truly, truly blessed to have them in my life, to be sharing this journey with each of them--even when we're all on this journey on our own individual paths...each path leads to the same place eventually and each of us holds an immense love that embraces one another even when we are far apart. Retta is just as much a part of my family as my other sisters and my brothers are.
And my children and grandchildren? Oh yes--there is still an abundant amount of love and huge, huge room in my heart for each of them and that love grows by leaps and bounds with each and every new day...
Maybe THAT's why each day feels like such a gift to me...all this love flowing both into and from my heart just exudes an aura of happiness and peacefulness and joy that no material items can bring, no money can buy and no world news events can steal away from me.
"Write it on your heart that the ones you love are life's most precious gifts." -- (My Credo In Life)