May 20, 2010
are you avoiding me?
where are you?
why aren't you writing?
regret, disappointment, frustration, feeling like a failure.
i want to avoid my exsistance.
i don't even want to write,
i've ruined my life with mike, and yet things are peachy.
i love him
more than my life.
i couldnt even hold up my end of things.
i don't deserve him.
i don't deserve this ring on my finger.
i don't don't don't don't.
So if you wonder where the fuck i am, i'm off trying so very hard to push every negative thought out of my head.
its not working out well.
if i want to talk..i have like 5 days off in a row from tomorrow night til thursday.