The Bolthole by Asher
 
July 2003
1Funk Off!
2So far...
3Free!
4A Good Holiday...despite a SNAFU
5Hungover
6Day of the Slug
7Losing Hope / Hope Lost / Bloody Pissed Off
8:spin:
9A Little Motion Back in the Right Direction
10Picking Up Speed
12Thrashed
14Vacant-eyed Zombie Gaze and other meanderings
15The Periphery
16The Periphery, Part 2
18A Catty, Cynical State of Mind
19Lazin' the Day Away
22One More Step
23A Typical Day?
24The Funk Strikes Back / A Little Pontificating
29Crossing the Rubicon
31A Little More Pontificating / The Status Quo
Thrashed
July 12, 2003

I overslept again today and its made me feel pretty out of it. If that weren't enough, we were supposed to rearrange some things in the house to help with the painting. Some of it had gotten done before I got up and then after taking awhile to wake up, I got into it.

I hate to think about how much I have let myself get used to around this place. To put it simply, it's a wreck. I will admit that I haven't been helping and in all honesty, I have been adding to it. If no one else is willing to show the concern, why should I? Or at least, that's how I felt until today. T and I spent the better part of an hour clearing a route from the basement to the living room. Since we had tossed out the old furniture, we were going to move the futon upstairs to serve as a couch until we buy a new one. It was a tremendous pain in the ass to get prepared. It's amazing how much crap had built up because no one was willing to do anything about it. With that all said and done, she and I started to move the futon's frame. We had a bitch of a time getting up to the top of the stairs -- where we promptly got stuck. We tried for like a half hour to figure a way around it but I finally gave up for a time. I would just unbolt the damn thing and take it through in pieces except my damned driver bits have walked off somewhere. We're probably going to have to drag the damned thing back down the stairs, turn it around and try taking it the other way. Maybe then, we'll be able to make the corner.

I'm trying to find the gumption to do that now. Between the dust and the exertion, I've pretty much wore myself out already. My asthma kicked in and my freaking eyes are burning. You gotta love allergies. Rolling Eyes I've been up for less than six hours and I am already to curl back up in bed. I am really tempted to say "Fuck it" and let them deal with the damned thing.

Of course, that bit of thrasted frustration could come from other sources and this just might be the straw that broke the camel's back for today. I've been trying to be more standoffish with T lately, which is hard for me to do. I feel that I have to play hot and cold -- so as not to alienate her and not make me nuts. I'm kind of getting tired of letting her have her cake and eat it too. She's got little reason to push R too hard. When I allow it, I fill the role of husband where he often comes across so lacking. I go through these cycles where we really warm up to each other and then I have to cool them off -- usually by cooling myself off. Something is going to have to change and I think it is going to have to involve me. No one else seems to want to.

Join Now!
Home
My-Journal.com
Sign in
FAQ
Help

April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
November 2017
July 2017
June 2017
March 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
September 2009
August 2009
February 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003

   
Login to select
your favorite journals

PrevTopNext
 




If you're ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency. emergency.cdc.gov



adopt your own virtual pet!
adopt your own virtual pet!



adopt your own virtual pet!


Free Counter
Free Counter
Visitors since December 28, 2004



 Use OpenOffice.org

Visit my Forum

© Website Copyright 2003 by My-Journal.com
© Journal Content Copyright 2003 by the Author
 
Terms of Service Agreement
 
Privacy Policy