|Breathing a Little Easier|
December 8, 2018
After yesterday, I can breathe a little easier. L had her surgery and everything went smoothly and better than anticipated. She had a significant number of adhesions in her lower abdomen from previous surgeries so the procedure took a little longer than estimated. However, they were able to save her remaining ovary, keeping her from having to undergo hormone replacement therapy. She's at home now, starting her recovery. Her sister is supposed to be helping her with things -- but as she is incredibly flaky and unreliable with her own life's drama -- L is having to do a lot more than she should. I've offered to come up -- a drive of some 30 miles -- but she has stubbornly told me to stay at home. She's told me that she will likely need my help during the week but I am still begging her to stay at home. If she needs something, I want her to call me while she is resting & recovering. I went so far as to say that I would happily sleep on her floor and be at her beck & call to take care of her. She was touched by that and I hope, she will listen and not let her stubborn nature lead her to getting hurt or delaying her recovery.
Just learned that a former associate of ours hit L up for a booty call some time back. She hadn't told me about it, which I guess I should not be surprised. Still, it hit me kind of hard, slamming the friend-zoned tag that much more. It makes me both sad and jealous on so many levels. I have a feeling this will be another element that will be weighing heavily on me for a time. Maybe, I should be done with it, but it would mean also cutting off the help I am giving to her. It wouldn't make sense otherwise. I am such a fool. I wish something would happen to make this decision easier -- even if it meant breaking my heart. It's not like I have much use for it. I guess I will keep being the best friend I can and more while I wait to see where things for from here.
I have been puttering around the house today. I got up late and proceeded to unload 150 lbs of cracked corn & black oil sunflower seed from the truck. I rescued two little mice from seed container before refilling it. I then fed the deer and refilled all the bird feeders -- adding some stale bread to the deer's cracked corn and a couple of suet to the bird's seed. Afterwards, I ran to town and got a couple pizzas for dinner as well as two gallons of distilled water to use with my CPAP. Later, I cooked up some homemade cranberry sauce to go along with dinner tomorrow. I will be making some pan seared pork chops, mashed potatoes, and sauteed asparagus with onion & garlic; and I thought the cranberry sauce would be a good accompaniment. The rest of the evening has been spent in front of this computer chatting with my D&D group, which includes L, and writing slowly on this entry. Such an exciting life I lead.
My Dungeons & Dragon group looks like it is coming back together. My two remaining players seem intent on restarting the game, which is a good sign. I have another player wanting to return as well as new player that wants to rejoin the game. Having four players would be an optimal starting point, leaving me room to add as many as two more new players. So, things are looking good and I need to start reviewing my previous adventure notes and add other elements to them. Because so many players suddenly abandoned the game, I need to retconn wide swaths of it. Some of the characters in question went off together to explore some incidents, so I can write them off easily and stash their remains for later discovery. One character is with the remaining players, but I think I have a way for him to disappear bloodily and lead the party into the next adventure. Plenty of things to consider and note over the next few weeks. It's got me looking forward to resuming the game. At least I have one thing to look forward to in 2019, whether I have a job, girlfriend, or anything else in a normal life will have to be seen