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Tuesday, July 10, 2018
July 10, 2018

I've been absent for a bit.
There's always the hope around my sons' birthdays that something positive will happen. Maybe something.

So Garrett Jr.'s birthday has come and gone. He raged and raged for weeks before, and then there was a lamenting text and a phone call. The phone call turned into a list of things I was to do for him. I was to pick him up at a park and ride, drive him to his methadone clinic to dose, go back to his RV, pick up his laundry (he said it was rotting), take him to the laundromat, etc., etc., etc. I said no about a dozen times. He said he didn't want any stupid birthday present, he just wanted to get his laundry done so he could have a woman over to get high and have sex with for the weekend. He got increasingly angry and I started crying. He told me to stop crying and hung up. I couldn't stop crying for a while.

He then kept calling back shrieking his demands. I unplugged the house phone and blocked him on my cell phone.

On his actual birthday, since he had absolutely refused to accept his birthday present, I sent him texts of memories.

Last Thursday Michael and I were sitting out on the front porch. Suddenly Garrett Jr. appeared from around the corner, in a continuous babble. He was barely aware of our presence, but spewed out a tale of Henry stealing all of his money, food stamps, I.D., phone, everything. It was not difficult to assess the situation. I told him that this was not the place for him to be. He ignored me and just kept raving. Michael said he was leaving, that he didn't even want to be around it. I told Garrett Jr. that if he did not leave, I was having him removed. I don't think he even paid attention. I went into the house and called the police. Gave the dispatcher the information. Garrett Jr. meanwhile became angry that I wasn't jumping to attend to his needs and wandered off in the direction of the trail.

Michael returned home. About 25 minutes later, a squad car pulled up on the side of the house. A cop came ambling up. I told him that Garrett Jr. had wandered off to the trail. He answered that he heard from his dispatcher that Garrett Jr. often hides inside my house. I looked at him incredulously and said, the police haven't been called here about Garrett Jr. in over five years. How would you know what he does? He asked what I wanted done. I told him well since you took nearly half an hour to get here, of course he's gone. I will just call 911 again if he shows back up. He said and then you'll trespass him? I said that's right.

Michael then decided he was going to hunt Garrett Jr. down. He did not explain why. He just took off. I went to bed. Michael was gone until the early morning, when he appeared at the bedside staggering drunk. I told him to leave the bedroom. When he refused to, I went out and made myself a bed on the sofa. He tried to harass me there, but I told him I'd left the bedroom to get away from him, and to get away from me until he was sober.

He wouldn't talk about what happened until two days later when I finally asked. Even then he said he didn't want to talk about it, but did say that he had driven Garrett Jr. to the neighborhood of his methadone clinic and driven down a couple of streets and there he found the RV. He followed Garrett Jr. to where he and Henry have the RV's parked, for information purposes, not because he cared. He said after he watched Garrett Jr. park the RV, he turned his truck around and took off. The last thing he saw was Garrett Jr. waving his arms in the air, trying to stop him.

So, no present for Garrett Jr. Michael wants the present, which is a hoodie of a rock band both of them love, but he's not getting it. I am keeping it for myself. I will wrap myself in my love for Garrett Jr. when I wear it. If Henry refuses his, I will do the same with that one. Henry's birthday is in a little over a week. He, however, is extremely unlikely to wander onto my porch. His punishment to me is silence and absence.

I have made plans to meet with a woman from my support group tomorrow, to go thrifting. She loves hunting down bargains and told me she goes to a great shop. This perplexes me because the location she named is in the big three of wealth-infested waters around here. She insists that she finds great stuff, though.

My annual bowls are bona fide award-winners. Even with the freak hail storm and then a day in which I forgot to water with a dire outcome, they still are looking unbelievable. They are so full of blooms, in colors I just knew would be spectacular together.

The back-porch Coleus Kingdom is starting to take off. Michael said he counted 27 Coleus out there. I insisted that many of them were cuttings and also from the cheap 6-packs we got in February. Also out back are the tomato plants. I have never grown tomatoes. The next door neighbor of course had extremely large pots at just the right time. I put two tomato plants per pot and Michael tied them to stakes. They are perhaps too full of foliage, but still have lots of blossoms. Who knows what will come of them. Remember these are the tomato seedlings that I grew from a slice of tomato on the window sill.

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