|The Monster-Beast of Hell: AKAŚNursing School|
May 25, 2014
I don't have long to go. I'm actually in my second to last semester and have endured four clinical rotations so far. I'm on clinical rotation 5 and the last med surg theory class. I should be coasting at this point, but I'm so burned out that it's hard to get myself to study. I should be studying right now.
Since the beginning of nursing school, I have encountered a particular bunch of people that irritate me highly. It's the "don't be negative" crowd. They are forever posting their "stay positive!" messages and shun those who don't fall in line. However, some of these positive people have failed classes, had to drop out for whatever reasons or get mediocre grades.
I'm not saying "negativity" is better. But a little reality would go a long way. No point in painting rainbow colors on a pile of shit. It's gonna stink anyway. I much prefer "Yeah, this sucks. So let's figure out how we are going to get through it." Because nursing school sucks. It sucks so bad. Hate is a strong word, so I'll just say: It's not my favorite thing.
Please don't get me wrong. I feel very lucky and grateful for the opportunity to go to nursing school. I have family that has helped me get here and I want to finish and make them proud.
But it's still, for the most part, a monster-beast of hell, that has eaten big chunks of my life and, at times, obliterated any thin sense of self-esteem I might have had.
It is brutal.
Yes, I'm sure there are people who "LOVE NURSING SCHOOL....YEAH!!!!" More power to them. But I am not one of those people. Yes, there is a possibility I will surprise myself and have a banner semester full of good times. But however it shakes out, I'll post it as I see it, feel it, experience it. There will be very little filter outside of protecting privacy for all involved.
Here's to the summer semester. May the monster-beast of hell be on my side this rotation...