May 27, 2014
There is something about going through nursing school and being a nurse that can make people really mean. Luckily it doesn't happen to everyone. But it happens to enough of us to make the connection quite obvious.
I can't stand my clinical instructor. I'm not the kind of person who detests a lot of people. Mostly I just keep to myself and go about my own business. Live and let live. It's not often that I wish harm on anyone. And I don't wish harm on her. Not really. I would never hurt anyone. But in my day dreams? I picture something falling from the sky and flattening her like a pancake. I actually picture that as she is talking to us and it makes me feel somewhat better. She is a very mean person.
I had a horrible clinical rotation last semester too. My instructor was quite moody and she complained about us too much. But she was human and hadn't had all the compassion sucked out of her. I learned a lot from her. I didn't hate her even though she was pretty tough. I saw her today and couldn't believe I actually wished she was my instructor again.
Doubt that will happen when I see my current instructor when this semester is all said and done. I found out she teaches at another nearby school and I have now crossed that off my list for further nursing education. If I can get through this semester with this bitch, I'm going to make sure I never have to deal with her again.
Mostly what pisses me off about her is the way I saw her deal with a patient. But I won't get into that...
Meanwhile, I had a good day of studying yesterday. I actually got my head in the books and did some reading and made some good notes. I HAVE to remember where I'm headed and why in the world I got myself into this mess called nursing school. I want out. But I want out with my piece of paper and the ability to pass NCLEX. So I carry on, despite wanting so badly to quit.