|Sidetracking Is My Middle Name.|
March 23, 2018
Gratitude For Journals.
Oh. I get sooo sidetracked on my very enjoyable visits here. I usually average about three to four hours reading time for other journallers' writings, whenever I spend time here for just reading however, last night and early into the morning of today (Saturday), -5 a.m. to be precise-, I just got so carried away with reading that I had no "steam" left to make a journal entry. It was my intention to do both. Recent and old journals are a treasure to me here. Very, very talented writers come here to express their lives through the written word and I think every journaller that I read is incredibly special...& even those that I don't read regularly...all journals here...
Wonderful. Therapeutic. Entertaining. (Highly entertaining in parts, in fact...that's endorphin therapy for me! Educational too...I've learnt a lot from others and appreciate this the most...very much...I'm an extremely grateful journaller.)
I get side-tracked regularly in other things in life too...lifetime habit. I start off in one direction and end up sidetracking here and there before I make it to the end of whatever it is I began in the first place. Complete madness sometimes...other times...I feel okay about my personal convolutions...from the outside looking in, in terms of others who have seen this behaviour in me...er...eewww...not good feedback.
♥ An ex-boyfriend (RIP) -
"Girlfriend? For fucks sake! Can't you just finish what you started first? Leave that other shit alone...you're working yourself round in circles."
Then, if he meant his growling me good naturedly, he'd bend down and kiss my head before heading upstairs to watch television and keep out of my way.
If not, I got no kiss and he'd stomp out the door to the pub or up the road to his mates for a drink. (Must've driven the poor dude nuts...I could certainly live with my madness...)
♡ An older 'cousin' (still alive) -
"You're doing it again A-J! You're sidetracking!! Stop it, stop it, stop it!"
Anyway, I'm still fucken doing it...just not as much...and I don't care and mostly no longer GIVE two fucks what anyone else thinks...hmmph!
I'm still dry. Dug out my sobriety diary and have it by my bed. Yet to do work in it though.
I'll finish this post a little later...need to visit supermarket and eat...
Tired....can't let any of these things become intense/overwhelming, especially being newly off booze.
A Very Special Visitor.
Just finished a late breakfast of a huge bowl of cereal with caramel (brown) sugar and lactose free full-cream milk. I have been chomping through half a kilo of breakfast cereal every three days. The packet really should last five to six days. No mind. I'll eat until satified. It's a low processed whole corn cornflake cereal anyway. Love cornflakes. Sick of Weetbix. Breakfast was my lunch today. Slept in. Didn't get to sleep until five a.m.
Have an ex-AA woman friend popping round for afternoon tea and sex...nope...just joking about the sex...I wish tho'. Crazy I am. The chick is straight. 20+ years sober tho'. Just the talk ticket I need right now. I've done a load of trousers, trackpants & jeans. After finishing this I'll chuck them on the line and get busy in kitchen. Want to make Jo some dainty apple fritters, which are deep-fried like donuts and rolled in caramel sugar.
I love Jo's body. She's tall and slender and has now put on a little subtle -attractive too I might add- weight. Nice that she has subtle and cute curves now to accentuate the places on her body that I find most attractive.
I love what she talks about too...most important. Even though some of the discourse rubs the raw places in me, I still face it and her. I listen well and as best I can.
Love her lots. She has been a sober friend to me for nearly 18 years now...off and on because I chose to use and relapse.
Anyway, I need to cook, tidy up a little, shower & make myself presentable.
Ex-President of The United States Barack Obama has been holidaying here in New Zealand. I love this man, I think he's wonderful. He is friends of our ex-Prime Minister John Keys. They've been golfing here and I think John cheated at playing golf with Obama...hope it was a friendly joke. The golf course they played is beautiful. It overlooks the ocean. A private club I think. Today - Saturday - President Obama is lunching at a beautiful vineyard on Waiheke Island. Then he leaves our shores and his holiday here. No Michele or daughters, just himself. He's talked with our current pregnant Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern too. Lovely to have him here in NZL.
Write later...work to do.