August 5, 2018
Heard today that we lost one. This time the father of a cousin. I didn't know the father, nonetheless, that's got to be so very painful losing a parent. That's a pain I don't want to know, not now, not ever. That's a pain that could drive you insane, I could easily see myself losing all my scruples. I remember mums went through an illness where at first the arsehole doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. She wasn't in pain or anything, but, just the fact that there wasn't a diagnosis and she was losing blood, and those slow-witted c*nts took their time to try and pinpoint the issue was enough for me to cry until I heard something snap in my head. Like a literal crack; to feel so useless, powerless, and helpless. From then on, my memory was affected, and with all of my illnesses, it never looked back, heh.
I gave a call, clumsy and short on words as I am. He sounded good, even tried cheering me up. Man, I want to hug him so much right now, but he lives a ways off and I've got a damned sinus infection plus the ovaries are rearing to go anytime soon. Ah, life, why must you be filled with so much pain?