Today is September 18, 2018
Join Now! | Home | Sign in | FAQ | Help
Morning Song by Darlinggirl
August 2004

August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
September 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
October 2010
July 2010
May 2010
August 2009
July 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001

Unconditional,eternal, immovable love...
August 11, 2004

It's funny, the things that can set one's mind to pondering. Our lawn service...heehee...two semi-hulking, growing-pains-laden, Indiana boys...ran a bit late yesterday. Mostly due to the horror-filled fact that school started today...the oh-so-slightly elder one (hardly ten months his overwhelmed Momma told me) had to find just the right clothes and they got held up in the city. (Lord, do I recall those days...stalking that Oh-So-Elusive prize, ClothesThatWillMakeTheYoungMan and turn the first day of school into a brand new life. I'm being deadly serious here and not making fun at-all.)

Yesterday evening (the hours between four-to-seven) was totally splendid...the deep emerald of the trees, cobalt azure 360 degree skies and dazzingly-white mare's tail unfurling banners to the horizon, I kept bugging everyone that it was only EIGHTY-THREE degrees and oooooh...just smell that air! (Well, it was delightful and I think it is going to take me about a zillion years to stop noticing it anew every few seconds or so.)

Poor Hoosier-Boy...I can tell he doesn't quite know what to make of evidence of kids, (except pictures on the fridge) we act silly in the yard where everyone can see...I give them Coca-Colas without their having to ask, the Texas plates on the truck, the times I've noticed the two of them leave their house after their Momma has headed off for Wednesday night service...all the books in our kitchen, living room, back porch. They break my heart. Their father is in Iraq and has been for ten months. When Himself is out back and they are tossing the basketball around, they wander over every time to just talk with him.

Anyway, 'cause they were so late, we had to take off and just gave instructions and left the cold hard cash (and yep, we're quite generous for well we remember how much walking-around money boys require and we don't really feel like mowing and edging at all right now.) and when we came home, they were just finishing and as I climbed out of the truck, YoungerHoosierBoy came lumbering up, with a funny expression on his face...almost as if he expected me to find fault or something...I couldn't quite read it. But, typical me...I piped up and lavished praise upon his broad slumping shoulders...'cause the yard did look really nice. Typical mom-thing, "Oh, you guys did such a good job. The yard looks really great...etc. etc.)

His face, broad and flushed with heat, still managed to perk up and he stood taller. (I told my husband later, I don't think these two boys get a steady diet of appreciation or praise or notice, really, when they do things right. Or well. Just a feeling I have.) I wasn't pretending either...I have HUGE appreciation for big strong men and their strength comes in mighty handy. So, when his big brother came around the other side of the deck, I praised and thanked him, too...even tossing in a few sentences about how well they work together.

Later, as we sat on the steps, admiring the lighting bugs, I got to thinking about my grandparents...lord knows, in the last couple of weeks, I've been around enough people and heard enough talk of old times, when we were all growing up and when my father and his siblings were growing up and I mused aloud..."I think that was their best gift of all. They just loved us. It was easy for them to find things to praise and encourage because they loved us."

It dawned on me, big surprise...I may be like that, too. It's never been hard to see good things in those I love and it's really natural and easy for me to let those I love, know it. Lavish with adoration...sympathy...patience and appreciation...and it's strange...many people think it's strange. I take all sorts of nagging about how I raised our sons, the way I *spoiled* them and all the children in my life.

I tried, yet again, thinking as I talked, that I recall my grandfather observing oh, say, a two-year old (both horse or human) a puppy, a new employee and with those calm, deep blue-grey eyes, I used to think he was looking into their very souls...then, he'd act accordingly. I know he was a great believer in matching a person's strengths and skills to whatever needed to be done and he always acted as if all you had to do was pay attention, do it a few times, and "Why, you're doing just fine!"

The best, the very best, though of what he showed me by just living it, is how each of us needs someone, at least someONE but as many as possible, to love us just because we are alive and walking around on this earth. (Nope, I don't mean silly, shallow adoration or spoiling.) He saw us plain, he saw us whole and he loved us...why? 'Cause we were his? Perhaps, but he (and my grandmother and yes, their daughters, my aunts) managed to have enough for others outside their family to be loved back by many, many people. As one former employee said to me a few weeks back, "Mr. D. always made me think I was better than I thought I was." And I thought, when he said that..."Ah!! There it is."

Was this the by-product of a gentle, loving, steady spirit? A form of leadership, maybe? Anyway, I know, for myself, it's always easy to just focus on the positive in a person (and it can take a long time before I give up. In case of MeanOldMumInLaw...fifteen years.)and it's never been hard for me to love people.

Because love does that...bathes us in a rose-gold tinted light, I think.

I've lost my thought here but late yesterday, I could overhear very cross words from the side yard across the way, and I winced to hear the fingernails-on-blackboard fury of HoosierBoys' mom. Sure, boys that age are messy, forgetful, at the mercy of hormones and bodies that betray them left and right, stupid-appearing and acting at times but hey! Underneath, there lives the person they're becoming ...and I guess that's why I've been thinking about on and off for a few days.

The power of unconditional, eternal and immovable love. I know it carried me through some awfully dark days, just knowing, out there, were several people who loved me just like that! The best part, the furthest reaching evidence of that sort of love was this: It made me better than I thought I was. I acted better, I refused to slip too far, for to be loved by loving, good people pulls you up, too. That respect and care becomes part of your very blood and spirit...rubs off on you, so to speak.

I just never fully understood how very rare this sort of love is.
Login to select
your favorite journals

Clix me, you fool! Shot through the heart and you're to blame...if you don't clix me!! feminine

Visit my Forum

© Website Copyright 2004 by
© Journal Content Copyright 2004 by the Author
Terms of Service Agreement
Privacy Policy