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Morning Song by Darlinggirl
June 2005

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Live like I'm dying?
June 28, 2005

I'm sure there are many people that could quote from famous Russian authors (actually, I'm one of them...I know exactly the paragraphs from my best-loved Tolstoy short story but I don't wish to sound show-offy) that reflects my frame of my mind right now.

Short version: It's been a most eventful few weeks, full of surprises that really shouldn't be surprises at-all.

I'll be back someday...but Darlin' please don't wait for me too long...the memories of your love still lingers on...

Of course, this won't make any sense to anyone but little ol' me but hey, it's I don't have a priest to consult with and don't put any stock in therapy any more.

An awful lot of the happenings recently fall into the ThisCanOnlyHappenToMe. Truly.

For instance, on a warm pretty Sunday afternoon, I just happen to cross the threshold of a little local grocery and notice a pretty sweet little girl in one of the checkout lanes, behind the register. I can't figure out why I can't keep my eyes off her, I find myself drifting out of the Express lane to stand in her line. Totally mystified and afraid she's going to notice my staring...and she looks into my eyes and it's rather like looking into a mirror.

Strange, shivery feelings whisper down my spine and somehow we get to talking...and she's the the daughter of a beloved uncle. To the amazement of the other customers, she comes running out from behind the counter and burst into tears and hugs and hugs and hugs me. This girl wasn't even born the last time I saw her father but she knows all about me. She calls her Daddy, Himself is standing there with his mouth falling to the floor and doing quite an admirable imitation of a dynamited-fish (and he's always so unruffable) and we all head out to the parking lot and in full view of half the town's population, we hold a mini-family reunion right there.

I can't even begin to put into words what it did to me to watch my uncle's truck (a carbon-copy of our own son's, down to the gun-metal grey) comes into the parking lot. (Himself keeps trying to get me to stop crying but with little Brie there (she's my first cousin and we look more related to each other than my children , down to hands and eyelashes...I feel totally supported and know it's totally fine to cry.

Sure enough, my good ol' boy, quite tough uncle cries like nobody's business...handkerchiefs get all soggy, tissues soaked and we hug and hug and hug...causing the traffic on the main street about come to a total stop! All of us, we just wave. I wanted to take his girls home, I told him he must have got the daughters I always meant to have and he just laughs, for he's eleven years younger.

My poor's one thing to hear about things like this and sure, he's seen plenty of this very thing over the past year but it was all my father's family and they are the reserved ones! *heehee*.

I noticed him staring at my uncle and me as we stood next to each other...we had someplace we had to be and was already late...he stood back and shook his head and said aloud, "Oh, I do see the family connection." He told me later, I looked more like my uncle than my own father. Well, where does he think my dark eyes and hair came from? My mother's mother.

That was just the beginning. It's as if some forces are lining up or something. Things keep happening. Things a person couldn't make happen with careful planning.

It's almost overwhelming.

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