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Morning Song by Darlinggirl
December 2005

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Victoria's Secret's stuff is real nice....
December 7, 2005

However, La Perla and Agent Provocateur's stuff is much nicer. Ohhhh, yes. I'd do just about anything if someone would just surprise me at Christmas with La Perla's Occhi Verdi My Rose Merry Widow. (I'd be very merry in that little thing. OH, yes.)

So, when I know girls that wear La Perla and Agent Provocateur as everyday lingerie, my heart does a little pinging of its own. Shoot, they don't even care if they lose that lingerie! One morning, I almost got up disgustingly early to head on out to a local park and see if I could find a certain girl's panties. And stockings. And suspender garter belt! I didn't though, just entertained myself adding up the tab for that misplaced lingerie. Now, that's a very very bad girl, for sure.

And this all dovetails nicely back to yesterday's whiny posting. See, it's like this: I am well aware that luxury comes into one's home as guest and then, eventually becomes a master. It's is addicting, having nice things.

I mean, I'm trying to imagine being so, uhmmm, carefree, that I could not care one teeny bit (well, in the heat of serious passion can work wonders on attitude) as my lovely, expensive, oh-so-pretty underthings are torn, ripped, tossed aside or simply shimmied out of and tossed away!

After reading Secret Thoughts AND Katzi's thoughtful comments in my forum, I've been seriously pondering upon the biggest conflicts in my life. Well, I've decided to blame it all on Jane Austen. Really.

Although she herself never married, her heroines always got it and pounds and pence. *heehee* I mean, when you grow up surrounded by a certain way of life and think it's both normal and attainable and just the way things are supposed to be, well, it follows one around all their life.

Incurable romantic with a taste for beauty. However, when one falls in love in such a way as I did, everything else vanishes.

When we went to see Pride and Prejudice , I knew I was setting myself up for some serious emotions. Many people don't believe that any families bring daughters up to marry well anymore. Ha. Yes they do. There's even an old Irish saying along the lines of "Many a family has been moved up by the lace on a daughter's petticoat." Something like that.

Lucky for me, my grandparents loved me too much to really pressure me the way they could have. I didn't mind the jokes and teasing about how if I aligned myself with a certain family, how the whole family would benefit. Because that was a big thing, creating connections and ties so the whole clan would be "looked after". Kept safe. Complicated, but I understood. Funny, I've forgotten the one young man my grandparents liked the very most. Well, his first name, at least. All I remember of him is how several summers and holdiays he was always at their farm, in the house and kitchen. Home from college, he always roared up on a big ol' motorcycle. Mostly I recall how tall he was, his boots, the way he teased me whenever we crossed paths.

I feel funny, because really, I see the point now. My grandfather's farms are all sold and gone. There is now no homeplace for the grandchildren and great-children to return to in times of need or displacement. Which our parents all did time and again. We are all dispersed, on that side of the family. Oh, sure, a road bears our family name where the main farm was but big deal!

My mother thinks this is a good thing. So why does she cry so much when she speaks of the old holidays and ways? Why does she live such an isolated, empty, dull suburban life? I have not a clue about any of this. With one breath she's wailing sadly about all that happened and the next, she's saying it's for the best. It was bound to happen. And then, after several more breaths, yet again, warnings about her own mother's family. The ones who did manage, somehow, to keep things going.

Funny, just like me, my grandmother fell wildly in love with a boy her father did not approve of. She was very much disowned, forever, for running away and marrying him. Staying married to him. Sound familiar? OH, sure, she was still supposed to be close to her family. It was just her father would not really acknowledge her husband. After twenty years of this, my grandfather threw a fit and then, she couldn't even see her family anymore. Unless she sneaked around or they did. (They did.) So, does this ring any bells? I think sometimes, my great-grandfather wanted to destroy my grandfather.

Anyway, it's all a bit confusing. All I can be sure of is how much fun I have being around the girls who did manage to hang on to so much of the old ways. I can't take money from them or my uncles either. Still don't know why.

I mean, would it be so terrible to? Lord knows I would dearly love to spend a few days a month at some of the salons and spas. Have a few hundred dollars for throwing away on wasteful things. Visit for weeks on end. (Very common and normal.) Tag along to dinner at places I only dream of now. But I won't.

It's nice to think about. I can tell though, one of my cousins is totally confused. She thinks I should take it all and live like I'm just like them. I can tell, she's dying to get her hands on me and straighten me out! *heehee* And she could do it, too.

She was teasing me about how Himself and I make her think that KidRock married MichelleBranch! However, now she thinks I need to try a bit more classy approach to looks and life. I started laughing soooo hard. Me? I do my own housework and cooking. (Is this because Himself had to cut his hair short and wears suits now?)

Ah, the laid back latent hillbilly's genes war with the genteel genes.

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