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Morning Song by Darlinggirl
August 2017

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A Desirable Calamity!
August 11, 2017

This morning, it's been a bit of a struggle to not feel sad because all our Children, grown and little, are now in Maine. Since I spent all day at doctors' offices and again, begging off being put in the hospital for an IV-Infusion and possible stay (ugh), by the time we got home, we were both feeling a little blue. Today is devoted to all day doctors' and clinic stuff for Himself, and a major consultation at three-thirty. Another one.

The house-hunting goes in fits and starts as the house they/we put an offer on was suddenly the scene of an outbreak of bidding wars and as the price goes up and up and up, we are all, rather, well, stunned. Of course, our family insists on a major inspection and that inspection discovers a serious flawed septic tank system flawed to the tune of forty-thousand dollars (American)so we are probably going to bow out. So, a few m ore shades of blue but if I have not learned anything in this life, finding and purchasing a house is a real unstable and unpredictable chore.

Of course, unbidden, I can hear the words of various relatives in my mind, again, reminding me that it's really best to not do anything really very serious as DogDays edge to their ending or really, the whole month of August. It tickles me, really, to see in my mind's eye, my aunt on the phone, in her house down in Mercer County, dressed tastefuilly in her Talbot's clothes, hair and make-up just perfect, a great-grandbaby in a Pack-and-Play by her side, (I could hear the little girl's cooing as she "talked" to her Great-Grand-MamaN., my heart always turns to mush at the sounds of a four month old baby talking), assuring me that, "OH well, honey, August's not the month to be buying anything, much less a house!" It's still followed in our family, my family was very worried that BabyBoyII was married in August but, so far, so good! They were married in August because they wanted to be married during the Iowa State Fair! My family was puzzled as to why a state would choose August to have its State Fair, perhaps the weather? Still, August is a month to not attempt anything really major, unless one has no choice.

There are three more houses on one island we really like, two on another island and one way way way up on Gabriola Island. There is family living in Nanaimo, so they sent the links and then went to look at the house. The really nice and yes, elegant and sexy Nordic real estate broker, found several houses in Ladysmith! I must confess, the idea of living in a town or having Ladysmith as an address melts me heart plus, it is one of the few places in British Columbia that has Edwardian houses and older buildings. Whenvever our relatives visit here, they have said in some ways the town reminds them of Ladysmith, of course, no bay or ocean.

The "boys", as my sister-in-law is now calling her husband and my husband, want to have us on the island they live on and we have visited several times. I found one small but perfectly acceptable house and one rather run-down two-storey house with a bit of acreage but after checking them out himself, (EldestBrotherInLaw)has deemed them "unsuitable."

It's funny for me, I spent a lot of time at the Opathalmologist's yesterday, and he's from Lexington. His folks belong to the same country club and church as my now dearly departed aunt and uncle did and we act like home-folks when I visit him. I love listening to him talk, there is such a difference between Fayette County and the Bluegrass accents than up here. He's growing a beard and he mentioned our boy's beards. They have met him in consulting about whether I should go to the Cleveland Clinic or JohnsHopkins. Plus, he's does this funny little sulking act, whenever my husband and younger son are there, for they are taller than he and he "is always the tallest man in the place, dang it!" Alas, his beard is going to be a deep dark chocolate brown and our sons's are bright, gold-red. Very Viking.Or Irish. I told him he could be Black Irish and he poked me in the arm, reminding me of his Scottish heritage and me of mine also.

Then, in between, talking with all the Canadians! Trying to track down one of the realtors was embarrassing in a way. She put me on speaker phone, all cool and Scandi and perfect, British-educated, and Himself assured me, that yes, she was tall! (DARN.) Yet, my ophthalmologist says "aboot" for "about", exactly as my aunts and father's side of the family does. His family has been in the Bluegrass since it was Virginia too. So, it was funny. I think he thought the realtor was very very attractive, but refrained from saying anything. Since the good opthalmologist is just a bit over forty, it's not because he is elderly or anything either.

I am now a bit infamous for, per request, I texted a shot of two thousand dollars worth of eye drops for our Canadians to marvel over! We finally got so fed up with the insurance company refusing to pay for non-generic, preservative-free drops I really really needed, we just started paying for ourselves. The Canadians were appalled!

After I got home, I lined up all the teeny tiny itty bitty bottles and figured out the full cost of this year's worth of drops and drugs and yes, sure enough, just about enough to spring for the "New Mother's Special" at the plastic surgeon's offices across the street from my orthaepedic surgeon's. Yet another frustrating thing, I still can't have the surgery needed on ankle and foot due to one has to be off every single sort of Medrol and the family of cortisones for THREE FULL MONTHS. My doctors reminded me yesterday, I have been on them, massive "dangerously" high doses for eighteen months unstopped. Again, due to the insurance company refusing to spring for costly Humira and other infusions and pills.

Ugh. One of the reasons why I started this journal so long ago, as hard as it may be to believe, I was raised to not every speak of any illness unless "one needs immediate assistance." And I am still like that. At the boys' requests, two years ago, I put them on file to have full access to our medical records just so we won't have to talk of them. Talking to the boys however, is the hardest of all.

Anyway, the "Boys" are talking even more about Himself early retiring and even more, sending me up there to get my residence started. Since their daughter has moved into their guest-house, (because her baby is due any second), I am not really keen on this idea.

For two reasons: I can't leave Himself behind to run around to doctors and work and look after the house and things.

And, really, I am very uncomfortable just moving in with them in their house. There is plenty of room, sure, and it's beautiful yet, nope, cannot leave. Even if I could travel right now, which I cannot. (That's why I am not in Maine.*sob*)

This FamilyShindig is going full-spate and it would be so grand to be there now, especially since BabyBoyII and his wife are there. IowaGirl was teasing me about the two of us being the only Protestants and farm girls, how we could stick together against alllll the Yankees and dazzle them with our cooking skills and magic.

Many times over the years, since there are priests, both practicing and ex'd, in Himself's family, I am threatened with being burnt at the stake (And no strangling beforehand,you infidel) because of my Huguenot ancestry and faithless godless Protestantism) the father-in-law of BabyBoyI is always quoting scripture and of course, that much loved tome, The Witches' Hammer.

He was quite surprised, way back at BabyBoyI's wedding, as he and the parish priests jokingly quoted from that book, that I could finish whole lines. Just as Himself's namesake nephew was ages and ages ago. Shoot, EvilExBarristerBrotherInLaw and Mum quoted some of it at me a few times. They have always insisted that my "hold" over my spouse in unnatural, which at times just about drove me bonkers. I would actually have to remind myself what century we are living in. Or think that perhaps EvilExBarrister's membership in the Knights of Columbus and that other, really scary order That-Shall-Not-Be-Named had gone to his head along with all the heavy drinking and prescription drugs!

And that is why sometimes, I am called, to this day, "The Desirable Calamity" by the menfolks in Himself's family and now, by some of the OtherSide.

So, deep in Stephen King Country, our whole family is making up stories about a house party in Maine! Of course, I only make up happy stories, not wishing to invite anything the least not wonderful to happen.

Same thing for the other side of North America. We have found out that EvilExBarrister and his equally lovely wife are just about to totally melt-down and blow-up about this moving and retiring to Canada.

In my heart, I know there is nothing real they can do about it or to us but it still makes me uneasy. He gave up his Canadian citizenship long long long ago and chose to not be Canadian-American. He is over ten years older than us, he has his life and house and everything in Central Texas.

So, what is to be soooo upset over? He is muttering to his sisters, insisting I "put EldestBrother" up to it! To what?

I know I shouldn't even bother myself about it at all. I knew EvilExBarrister and his wife didn't like it that Eldest Brother-in-Law has visited us here several times and we have gone there and worst of all, without any other of the siblings! We are the only siblings that have done that, visited WITHOUT *gasp* the others. They always insist if they cannot come, we should not have them here or go there.

Nope. We decided decades ago, no matter what Mum or the TrioOfSisters or EvilExBarrister said or did, if we four wanted to visit, we would. And we have. It made Mum furious each time when she was alive. And the face they attended the boys' weddings really made some of the family angry too, much to my puzzlement.

As we being the most patient of patients all day yesterday and inbetween texts and calls and things, I just flat-out asked Himself, if it was possible, that NOW his second brother may be thinking of retiring to Canada now?

Mum is dead. EvilExBarrister's wives parents are now dead and four of her seven siblings. All their children are married, two have moved away from Texas.

Of course, he told me to not invite trouble but since when did Trouble ever need an invitation?

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