Today is July 20, 2018
Join Now! | Home | Sign in | FAQ | Help
Morning Song by Darlinggirl
November 2017

July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
September 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
October 2010
July 2010
May 2010
August 2009
July 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001

When hope would otherwise become hopelessness...
November 8, 2017

it becomes Faith.- Robert Brault

After a long tense evening, here we are as the sun lights the sky with opal-shot colour as I waved my husband off after making certain he was able to get inside that huge ol' SUV. Medications have been adjusted, so more unpleasant side effects are being felt but he planned to attend this group outing with friends, so I cheerily sent him on his way.

After feeding him a light, tasty and easy-to-digest meal and going through the whole evening's medications schedule and taking and recording of vitals, he was eager to go. I could have come along but really, after hearing the results of the latest MRI on my ankle and foot, (new better more painful and damaging splits and tears and crumbling bones), I begged off. Really, I was happy to be home, and for this evening, it's out of my control what happens or transpires or results from going out with friends. It was so thoughtful they just told him in a friendly way, he would be picked up so the whole driving issue was discreetly and graciously dealt with.

To my right, we have a small flag of the Commonwealth of Virginia, in antique silver christening cup. The shield on the Virginia flag has always fascinated me, along with the motto: "Semper Tryannis." Ages ago, one of the boys after carefully sounding out those two words, turned a little puzzled face at me and said, "That does not look like a dinosaur the lady is stepping on and part of her dress fell down. Is she an Amazon?"

Last night, when the Virginia governor race was announced, sure enough, phones lit up with "Semper Tyrannis!" The man across the street this morning, stopped me on my front porch, and hollered, "I saw your boy has Virginia plates and a Terry McAuliffe sticker on the bumper!" Not much gets by him, now does it? Good ol' Mr. Semi-Retired Retired Guy. He always teases us when we fly the Virginia flag anyway on its statehood day and Anniversary Days but hey, I don't mess with tradition. Lots of our family history, the records state Virginia. Plus, for a long time, family members have worked on several Virginia governor campaigns, even whilst still in school or just freshly graduated.

There was much joy in our house last night. And on down the list, from the Mayor of NewYorkCity (Hi!You-know-whom! All of you. Good job!) to Maine to well, it was just after Virginia, we were all so pleased anyway.

Of course, the Kentucky Flag is right next to the Virginia flag, so different. Goldenrod, two men, one in buckskins, one in formal gentry attire, shaking hands, "United We Stand Divided We Fall", no semi-dressed victorious warrior goddess and vanquished tyrant! It's silly and almost embarrassing, but it still gives me a strong sense of continuity and heritage, even as invisible our family is now, that we are still, some of us, toiling in the battlegrounds of politics and trying trying trying to shape these "Commonwealths" into what a commonwealth was supposed to be. I just like thinking back on the lines of family members, and marvel at the full-circle and unexpected twist that it is our children that have picked up the torch, so to speak. Or sword? Lord knows after DaddyC. passed away, there were only a few cousins on that side and on my father's side, again, three cousins and two of them deserted to the GOP during the Reagan years.

I even restrained myself from sending drawings of the dinosaur we made up and named Semper Tryannis. All of us, our imagination just goes bonkers, like the time we "invented" the deadly new martial art, "Kohl-RABI!".

Anyway,, that's enough of that.

Growing up, I had access to several libraries besides the county ones and school ones so by fifteen, I had read a lot of books that really made it pretty clear, this world can be a dark and puzzling place. Mad-men, murders, FalseFlags, all the Coups..Coup Droit, Coup de grace, Coup d'etat, and the like;plus the morals of various centuries, and so many other realities, I wasn't never jaded. Just,I am not as surprised as most people at the sheer magnitude of cruelty and violence humans can wreak upon each other.

Both sets of grandparents, both great-grandfathers, two ministers (each having Ph.d's and one was a medical doctor and an Episcopal priest), penned my reading lists, varied and thorough. One Christmas season, sighing and fussing about the dreadful high school I was languishing in in Texas, not only was I gifted with all these novels and non-fiction books, but several lists, lists that would take years to read through and I did. I worked my way down those lists and still laugh at myself, twelve years old reading all of John Cheever, Henry Fielding, and Charles Dickens one book at a time. Russian novels. Translations. Trashy novels from earlier centuries, loved many of those! There were lists of books GreatGranddaddy starred with, well, stars, "You will LOATHE this book. Read it anyway, please!"

Books on the populaton explosion, books on industrial issues and poverty and violence and dirt, disease, sadness. How the Other Half Lives. sent me into a spiraling sadness and anger, set me up to argue with Sunday-School teachers and Bible Camp Leaders that tried to blame th 20th century for poverty and sin. That went over soooo well.

Thomas Hardy novels broke my heart. Upton Sinclair scarred me for life, The Jungle, oh my. Papa and Great-Granddaddy D. and B. assured me it was possible to educate one's self by reading only I never manged to learn math or algebra or quantum physics by reading, I did try a few times, but nope, way over my head!

Yet, really, the sheer magnitude and volume (modern efficiency) of tragedies and craziness can flatten me just as well as almost anything.

I know of that little Baptist Church down in Sutherland Springs, from long ago, Baptist and Church-of-Christ camp meetings. I know what many of those Baptist Churches can be like. I have watched people be "read-out" and I know the whole handbook on church memberships, rules, procedures and impact.

Myself? There have been a few times, when I had no problem whatsoever in understanding someone stomping into a church meeting and blazing away a la Rambo. It's happened before. Now, the scale is so much HUGER, mostly to the scale of the guns used, the population that owns way too many guns and the serious fetish-isation of guns. (Is that a word?) It used to completely unnerve me to watch boys and men fondle their firearms and whip out handguns in almost the same air of someone exposing themselves. And the Mormons and their stockpiles! Oh, dear lord!

Yet, I grew up around rifles and sporting/shooting guns. Handguns? Not at all. And men and women that were crack shots and excellent marks-people/men/ladies and hunters. Living on farms, living in the rural areas, there are real reasons as to why rifles are part of the tools/equipment needed.

Snakes! Oh yes. Rabid animals. OH YES. Severely injured animals, sick and diseased animals. Hunting for game that is eaten, shared, sold. It is puzzling to observe so many what? City people, people raised on John Wayne movies and Hollywood's take on guns, horses, cowboys, hunters? I have always had a hard time when having to watch most of all Hollywood offerings with guns or horses in them. John Wayne couldn't sit a horse at all, he held rifles and guns in totally dangerous ways. Old old televisions shows? I marathon-watched Bonanza with my sister's father-in-law and we both got the giggles-guffaws at how Ben Cartwright and Little Joe held their pistols and handled times rolling our eyes at t he sheer ignorance and un-realness of it all. And INDIANS! Good lord! My sister's father-in-law is both ah honest-to-goodness third generation rancher and Westpoint graduate and career officer. His father was in the horse-mounted infantry in World War I. His mother was an ribbon winning horsewoman, English and Western. And as time goes on, there are less and less and less people that have grown up around animals, guns, the realities of shooting and responsibilities. It's scary. People mostly learn, so to speak, from movies, television and video games! EGADS.

Mix that all up with so many fractured and damaged people, add, possibly drugs, drinking and sometimes, prescription and street, unmet needs and raging spirits and the sheer pressure of so many many many people in the world, one's city, one's job market, on one's street...all the ingredients for unstable people to just blow up and want to take the world with them!

The recent Plano shooting: Divorced couple, job loss, too many angers, too many guns.

Oh, I don't want to tally up all the shootings just since this September.

If one was of a mind to think, possibly, that the gods have taken different forms, well, the blood sacrifices are flowing, the demons/gods/avatars growing by leaps and bounds.

Even, really? Rand Paul being beaten up by his next-door neighbour in a gated community? Both men doctors. In a gated community, where the bad and dangerous are kept outside.

I guess we have met the enemy and they is us!

Login to select
your favorite journals

Clix me, you fool! Shot through the heart and you're to blame...if you don't clix me!! feminine

Visit my Forum

© Website Copyright 2017 by
© Journal Content Copyright 2017 by the Author
Terms of Service Agreement
Privacy Policy