|Girls on Film...|
August 8, 2001
Only recently I spent (wasted, depends on one's viewpoint)a few hours brazenly surfing the 'Net for, yes, you guesssed it...porn!! My eyes were frazzeled and retinas burnt by pop-ups, flash, horrible MIDIs, and tricky, sneaky attempts to take over my humble little computer. Can you imagine my chagrin at having to quietly take my husband aside and whisper to him to pleeeeaaase take a look at the computer, I seem to have stumbled upon a Screensaver from PornHell that is displaying a picture of lurid and not-too-subtle nekkid uhm, ladies doing very unnatural activities.
Now, I figure and do believe, at my age and having been sexuality active for years, that I have the right to look at this stuff but that does notmean I want to be assaulted with such tacky, lurid, boring examples of sex or whatever. I glanced briefly at some sites that could drive a very passionate person to chasity...I mean, I had no idea how unattractive certain positions and activities can be, especially when poorly lit and badly photographed...and what is up with all those massive implants?? Lord, talk 'bout unnatural acts...I can't help it, but some of those so-called breast reminded me way, way too much of dairy cows way, way past milkin' time!!
Anyway, my ever so helpful and knowledge-filled husband, informed me as to the "better" places to search for porn and the most elusive of all...Erotica. Now, what is the difference between porn and Erotica, one may wonder?? Well, I can't quite explain, but I KNOW it when I see it.
Some of the LiveCam sites were, well, really eye-opening. Some claim to be college girls, still on campus when they post their pictures. All by myself, I actually found some I found enthralling...and I couldn't say why to save my already probably doomed soul. I asked Himself 'bout it and he understood what I meant instantly. Maybe it simply the magic of certain things coming together...passion in a girl's eyes, care to detail, lighting, the relationship of the person and the camera, the position of the moon, it remains a mystery.
And, to be totally honest with myself, I felt a wee flicker of yes, jealousy. That part of me that I have put so much energy into burying, would have loved to been lovingly, carefully photographed and then, the other part, the part that wouldn't even allow me to do an innocent little boudoir-style photograph for a present, kicks in with all sorts of chatter and blather.
"What sort of a girl would even consider doing such a thing?"
"What sort of a man would WANT to do that with the girl he loves?"
"One of these days, that little vixen's chickens are going to come to roost in the most unpleasant ways!!"
"What would her parents say or think or do, if they ever found out?"
"What would her children do...they would probably never speak to her again and leave her to die a lonely, desolate old age!"
"Pat Roberston would put her in jail if he gets his way!"
"Oh, when is it MY turn to do that??" BIG-BLUSH!!
Then, wise, ol' mature Me joins in with the age-old question,"Why is being sexual such a bad, bad thing? Can't good people be sexual, too?
Huh...GOODpeople being sexual...not possible, according to my upbringing and that awful church (I agree totally with Texas author Larry McMurty's thoughts on this particular branch of the Protestants)I was subjected to.
But, oh my goodness. Wouldn't it be grand and wonderous to have a few real mementos of one's wild, lovely passionate self, for eternity?? Well, wouldn't it??