Happiness is a Butterfly by Marchen
September 2018
4Searching for elusive truth
7I just know
22Slow surrender
I just know
September 7, 2018

“What the fuck are you doing Em?” I have never seen Janvier so angry. Dust clouds puff up from his heels as his feet beat a heavy, fast stride into my space. I step back fast, holding up my arms to protect my face as I see his clenched fists.

He stops a few paces from me and I see puzzlement battle with anger. His eyes clear as enlightenment dawns and dispels his anger fogged brain. He wraps his big arms around me and draws me to his chest. “OMG Em, you thought I was going to hit you?” He kisses the top of my head as he holds me tightly.

I burst into tears as tension drains from my body. I feel weak and my knees buckle. He scoops me up and carries me to the swing. He lays his hard body in it, drawing me halfway over his broad chest. We swing silently in the cooling breeze, neither of us wanting to break the calm spell. I sob softly, and he wrestles a man-size tissue out his pocket and gently wipes my nose. I take it from him and ball it up in my palm.

“I’m sorry I scared you Em. I have never hit a woman and I would rather chop my hand off before hurting you like that.” He pauses and digs his fingers playfully into my ribs. “That’s not to say I would not hurt you for your pleasure.” He laughs softly, and I manage a smile. He tips my chin up with the ball of his index finger. “Em?” His eyes turn steely as I look up into them.

“Yes?” I can’t say more. The word catches in my throat and I barely get it out.

”Em. You are asking the wrong kind of questions in dangerous places.” I can hear the concern coating each word. “Please stop before you get hurt, or worse.”

“I can’t, I’m sorry.” I look away, so as not to see the wave disappointment cascade across his face. “I feel even more strongly that Jack is out there somewhere. I am going to find him, Javier. I know I am.”
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