|the breaking of the rules|
September 12, 2018
I've been reading journals here for a while. I see no one really writes the gory details much. Some do I guess. For now, I think I'll just give the gist, as details mat be hazardous to my mental health.
Miguel and I continued our play war only I think he started to be more into it, which i figured would make it easier to reach my goal of smoking the weed. I so wanted to be a rule breaker while i still had the chance.
A couple weeks gone of same, same and i found his stash. I didn't really want to steal it so i told him i found it and wanted to try it. He relented. He had to know my first puff would result in my coughing up a lung. When i settled down, he showed me proper technique and we both lied down on the floor and just were quiet. I felt like all my crazy fast thinking was gone. It was quiet and my head was quiet. It felt good. I hardly noticed Miguel was adding to my good feeling by rubbing my arm and shoulder. It was all quite nice.
Even after he let me smoke, I still wanted to play the wrestlemania game with him- it was weirdly pleasant. I remember my skin kinda buzzed.
In camp, I'd fantasize about that feeling all day. Miguel liked me! I wasnt just a bratty shit. I think he liked it too, cause he stopped having his buds over after dinner. Sharing a J, laying on the floor together was pretty cool. The back rubs made me feel things, new shit.
But my fun would soon end, cause father and mom were returning on Sunday.