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The essence of life and everything else I despise. by JustAnotherAnon
 
September 2018
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Entry #0001
September 12, 2018

This is mostly just me trying to describe myself, for the sake of me trying to list all my qualities because I rarely even think about them. I can't say I hate life to be honest despite the title of my journal. There are some points where I genuinely do, much like everyone else when they hit certain points in life. Despite that, I can't help but shake this feeling that I'm missing something else in my life. I have a roof, food, all my necessities. I have luxuries, a few friends and plenty of hobbies, some of them social. If I had to use one word to descrobe myself, it'd probably pathetic. Ot in tje context of this generation, I guess the word is more "late-bloomer". Late bloomer in the essence that I'm literally late in all aspects of life. Did you know, dear reader, that I am currently on my 3th year of COMMUNITY COLLEGE and I am barely just starting classes relavent to my career? Who in their fucking mind would hire a loser that seriously took that long to decide on a career, much less someone who goes to a two year school and has all the resources to decide quicker than I did. I don't know. Maybe it really is because I hated everything I was presented with or didn't know enough aboyt certain fields. Honestly, i think I got off lucky since I picked my career based on a class in that field that i took on a complete whim. I have never had a girlfriend or had sex. I found it surprising that this is actually not that uncommon for my age group. I think the reason why is because most girls my age are whores and third wave feminism and the period of post sexual revolution are to blame. That's a rant for another day. Lol youre just a pathetic incel then. You're probably right in thinking that. I dont talk to people very much. That includes online and off. I avoid others like the plague, even my own friends. I hate hanging out, it takes up so much of my time that I could be using on other meaningless shit. By the way, did I mention I like doing meaningless shit? I love video games, programming, taking stuff apart and smashing stuff, card games, embroidery, pretending I can play music, anime, watching other people be just as bitter as me, ect. Wow aren't you so special you sound like exactly every other 20 something, lonely, "depressed, virgin male! Aren't you a diamond in the rough! No. There's literally thousands of people like me. I'm about as special as the mounds of dirt you see outside. And I honestly prefer it that way, that way every thing terrible that happens seems to happen for a reason. Why is life shit, I dunno I probably got on karmas bad side for being a dick to someone. I think I act this way because I hate people who bitch and say "boohoo my life is bad and I don't deserve it, why does this happen to me?" Excuse me, BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PROBALY DID SOMETHING TO DESERVE WHATEVER HAPPENED YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT I WANT TO RIP OUT YOUR THROAT SO YOU DONT HAVE TO CONSTANTLY PRETEND LIKE ONLY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU AND THE WORAT PART NOW IS IM JUST YELLING AT MYSELF. OR RATHER MY OWN PERCEIVED WEAKNESS BECAUSE I HATE IT. I FUCKING HATE IT. I WANT TO END MY FUCKING LIFE SO K DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT COCK SUCKING EXCUSE OF A WEAKNESS. I DON'T WAMT TO BE SEEN AS WEAK AS ALL THOSE EMASCULATED SYCOPHANTIC """MALES""" THAT JUST SIT AROUND BITCHING ABOUT STUFF THAT DOES NOT AND WILL NEVER EFFECT THEM PURELY TO GET OH THOSE DELICIOUS SOCIAL POINTS LOOK AT ME I DID SOMETHING GOOD CAN I HAVE MY BROWNIE POINTS NOW ITS NOT LIKE I FUCKING DID ANYTHING BECAUSE I BELEIVE IN A CAUSE BECAUSE I DONT EVEN BELIEVE IN CAUSES CAUSES ARE TOXIC AND ARE NOT PC I JUST WANT TO FUCK UP THE LIFE OF EVERYONE AROUND ME I FUUCKCCCCKKIJNHGGVV HATE ALL THIS GODDAMMIT I WISH I COULD JUST FUCKING DESTROY THIS EARTH I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING
 
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