|End of Week 9|
November 24, 2020
So back at the end of week 6 I met my first goal by getting to the weight I was at my wedding. The next goal was getting to the weight I was at when I was maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding (when I didn’t hate the pictures ) Well… I’m happy to report that at the end of week 9 (time flies) I’ve blown right past my second goal by 4 pounds! I’m down 5.1 pounds this week! I attribute some of that to the weird process involved with colonoscopy but still… definitely exciting to see that kind of loss on the scale! HOORAY! So now… my NEXT goal is to get to the weight that I was at when I started working out with my trainer. It’s funny… I thought I was SO HUGE when I went in to meet with her for the first time. Now… my goal is to get back to that size. It’s only about 7 pounds from where I am now… and I felt like I was a BEAST (and not in a good way)… But knowing how much weight I’ve gained since that point in time (about 10 years ago) it’s good to know I’m going in the right direction.
One of the things my friend (the one who had bypass surgery about 15 years ago) told me was you lose weight at a pretty quick rate and it takes a while for your brain to actually catch up. That is the understatement of the year!! My brain still sees me as I was at my heaviest. I know logically I’m not that size any more but when I look in the mirror I’m still just as disappointed with the reflection as I ever was. Wait. That sounds a lot more dramatic than I intended. I know my measurements have changed. I know my clothes don’t fit anymore. I see subtle changes in my face. I do realize I’ve changed. When I look in the mirror I’m not depressed or anything. I mean… after a lifetime of seeing an overweight reflection, it’s not going to ruin my day or drive me to tears… I’m used to it. What’s weird is that even though I know I’ve lost weight, I still feel the same as I did at my heaviest… in that I’m not satisfied with the reflection in the mirror. My guess is that it’s going to be a long time (if ever) that I get to the point where I AM satisfied with my reflection. I wish that wasn’t the case. But even when I was at my thinnest a few years back when I was running, I still wasn’t happy with the reflection in the mirror. I guess that’s just something I’m going to need to figure out. I will admit, it is better when I have clothes on, for sure! but naked… that’s a whole different ballgame. It’s a life-long battle and it’s so true what they say: Weight loss doesn’t solve everything. My real measure of success is my health. THANK GOD I have that perspective because it would suck to go through all of this only to feel like a failure no matter what. And the truth is, I’ve already seen dramatic health improvements. I can’t wait to get my labs done before my 3 month check up. That’s going to be very telling! I’m excited about that. I just won’t read the results while naked in front of my mirror
How am I feeling? Physically, I’m tired. I was up way too late last night catching up with my son who is home for the holiday.
Mentally/emotionally? – I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving with my immediate family. I’m looking forward to doing the cooking and everyone relaxing and enjoying the day. I’ll be loading up some leftovers and bringing them over to our friends’ house. They won’t be joining us (due to COVID risks) but I hate the idea of them not having the Thanksgiving flavors on Thanksgiving. They’re excited to have dinner delivered and it makes me feel good to do it.
Happy Thanksgiving, all. I know this is a rough year for many of us… I hope you find some joy in the holiday season