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Transmogrification by MsMagenta
 
December 2020
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End of Week 12
December 15, 2020

Still dealing with puffy fingers this morning. I'm down 0.9 pounds this week. I'm not complaining as this brings me to 42 pounds down since surgery 12 weeks ago. 12/21 (next week) is my 3 month milestone so I'm guessing my water weight (if that's what it is) will be gone by then so I'll get a more accurate read on what I've lost so far. I'm not worried or concerned because this rate of weight loss is pretty normal from what I can tell. Some lose faster and some lose slower. I have had no stalls in my weight loss like some do. That would be tough to handle considering how little we're actually able to eat still during this phase.

I definitely need to get better about walking and running. I've been moving A LOT. I'm getting about 5-6000 steps in a day just from housework and normal walking but I definitely can do better in this department. It's been so cold here which has been my excuse these past couple of weeks for not going out and taking a walk. I have to stop making excuses. First of all, it's not THAT cold. No snow and no below zero temps so I need to walk.

I also need to stop the bites and tastes snacking. I've noticed that has increased again and I really need to stop that. For me, I think mindless eating was a really bad habit. I need to be more mindful about when I'm eating and why I'm eating. And if I'm going to eat, I need to be sure I'm making a conscious choice with the foods I'm eating... not just grabbing a bite or a piece of something and shoving it in my mouth. That has been a very bad habit of mine my whole life... and once again, I need to get a handle on some of these old habits that are creeping back in.

Yes, this holiday baking and cooking isn't helping me at all. I'm baking cookies and appetizers and snacks for various reasons (gifts, small gatherings, just because it's part of our Christmas traditions) and once I taste one candied almond to make sure I added enough salt or cinnamon, I don't need to taste more every time I pass through the kitchen Laughing I have been fine to pass up the cookies we've baked because none of them are that tempting to me... but I'm making some of our favorites this weekend so I need to be PREPARED. I've made these recipes a thousand times so there is no need to taste and sample. They will turn out FINE without me sampling the dough or the finished product! Laughing Sweets are not even really my thing... so if I'm paying attention and not just mindlessly eating, I should be OK. I really don't feel good when I eat sugary stuff. When I use up valuable stomach space for stuff that doesn't have much nutritional value, I end up feeling "off" for a couple of days. It's likely because I'm not getting enough protein and nutrients when I eat stuff that doesn't benefit me, nutritionally speaking. So... I really need to be better about this. Even though most days I'm very good about what I eat... this time of year is tough.

And then... When I'm cooking dinner, I find myself taking bites of whatever I'm cooking. Family meals are usually pretty healthy but if I'm not careful, I've had just enough bites and tastes of brussels sprouts or meat during prep and cooking that I don't have much room when it comes time to actually sit down and eat a measured portion. So even though I'm eating food that's good for me, again, I'm eating mindlessly and that's a habit I really do need to break.

These are all things I need to work on. I'm just under 3 months into my new life so I'm not beating myself up or anything... I'm learning. I'm seeing patterns and habits that can be corrected (gradually) and I'm trying to learn better ways of doing things so that I'm successful in the long term. It's a rough road... I'll tell you. This surgery definitely doesn't fix everything. I knew it wouldn't. Some days I can go for HOURS without even thinking about food. Other days it's tougher for me.

I'm not really hungry. Sure- there are times when I do get hungry and that's usually because it's time to eat and my body is actually telling me "it's time for some fuel." But most of my other eating is usually because I'm bored or I'm not thinking about it and just grabbing a bite or a taste. So... I'll work on that... seriously make conscious choices about what I'm putting in my mouth.

How am I feeling? I can sure tell I'm retaining water. My wedding ring is the tell-tale sign. When I'm not retaining water, it flips and spins on my finger. Not so much today Laughing

Mentally/Emotionally - Even-keel and nothing to report here.
 
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