|End of week 14|
December 29, 2020
Merry Christmas and almost Happy New Year!
Let’s get the numbers out of the way: At the end of week 14 I’m down 46.9 pounds since surgery and 1.8 lbs last week. I’m THRILLED, all things considered.
Our holiday was perfect and aside from all the sugar I ate, I think I did pretty well
The good news is, compared to last year, I didn’t eat much at all!
The bad news is, I did NOT do well with staying away from the candy and chocolate cream pie and cheesecake. Seriously – before this surgery I would have told you “I’m not really a sugar person. I’m more of a bread and pasta carb consumer.” Yes- that is true. I definitely was a bread and pasta fan. But once I started tracking during the pre-surgery preparation, I realized I eat more sugar than I thought I did. That was DEFINITELY apparent this holiday! Oh my god… once I had a small bite of something sweet, the cravings were INSANE. Of course, I can’t eat much at a time so while I probably would have had and entire slice of Chocolate cream pie last year, this year I had a teenie sliver… 3 nights in a row… with a teenie sliver of coconut cream cheesecake. And last year I probably would have snacked on our candied almonds all day long… this year I only ate a couple when I’d pass the jar on the table in the morning. It’s not the quantity that concerned me… it’s the habit of eating mindlessly and eating food that provides almost zero nutritional value. Yes, it’s the holiday. We don’t have chocolate cream pie and coconut cream cheesecake and candied almonds and almond brittle and cookies around all the time. But still… yikes. I like sugar WAY more than I thought I did.
The other bad news is those damn bites and tastes are still getting me into trouble! I made prime rib, ham, mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts, and stuffed mushrooms for Christmas Day dinner. I did great that day with my food. I had a small piece of our traditional breakfast casserole while we opened gifts and I made sure to stay far away from bites and tastes of ANYTHING. And then… it was time for dinner. During the meat slicing and prep I had to taste things to make sure I seasoned everything well. Really? How long have I been cooking? I know that was NOT necessary but I did it anyway. And when everything was all said and done and my dad, my son, and my husband were eating their dinner, I was too full to sit down and have dinner with them I REALLY need to work on that. It definitely doesn’t take much for me to feel full… I find if I’m not sitting down and focusing only eating properly (small bites, chewing a lot, and time between bites) the results can be pretty uncomfortable. So… I will continue to practice better habits. UGH! Since Christmas dinner I’ve been doing OK with my food. We finally tossed the dessert stuff so I won’t be tempted with that anymore. I’m stocked up on turkey jerky and protein snacks so hopefully I can keep my focus.
Oh… and fun story. One of my good friends stopped by to drop off some of her homemade candy the day before Christmas Eve. She came in to see my son who she hasn’t seen in a while. We hugged. She visited for a about 20 mins and left. And she texted me Sunday to let me know she tested positive for COVID. So not only did that worry all of us here in the house, I spent Christmas with my 88 year old father and my 60-something sister and brother in law came by briefly on Christmas Day. They went home to spend Christmas with my brother in law’s parents who are both in their mid 90s. So… needless to say, we were in a bit of a panic. Fortunately, after rushing to get our rapid results test on Monday morning, we all tested negative. What an eye opener though. Of course I KNOW BETTER but I didn’t think much of my friend’s quick visit at all… and had we been positive, that could have put A LOT of people at risk!! My son went to a “small” gathering with some of his high school friends so that could have been bad. I had stopped in at another friend’s house to bring a Christmas present for her daughter and of course her late-70s-something parents were there… it doesn’t take much to put A LOT of people at risk! Needless to say, I’m going to be re-thinking my actions in the future. What a stupid reason to risk others’ health! I will be more careful about my visitors and my visits.
How am I feeling? I’m good, especially now that I know I don’t have COVID! I’m still enjoying the increased energy I have with this weight loss. It’s so nice to not feel sluggish and tired!!
Mentally/emotionally – I’m beating myself up more than I need to be about these bites and tastes and sweets challenges I’m having. I’m trying to be kinder to myself and remind myself that I’m still LEARNING… but I’m worried. I’m worried that if I don’t get a handle on these bad habits now while I still have the restriction and all the other fun stuff that comes along with the “honeymoon phase” I will be right back where I started at some point. I know beating myself up doesn’t help ANYTHING so I need to stop that… It really comes down to mindless behaviors – doing things without thinking about what I’m doing. Popping that bite of candied almonds in my mouth without a second thought… am I even HUNGRY? Do I even WANT to eat that right now? Likely no on both accounts but I don’t even stop long enough to consider what I’m doing. Right now, it’s not HORRIBLE because I’m only eating small amounts. But gradually those amounts will get larger or those bites will get more frequent. So I’m working on my mental stuff right now. Beating myself up is silly. It doesn’t help anything EVER. So hopefully I can channel that energy into something more productive. So… room for growth, I suppose.
Over-all, I’m satisfied with my weight loss so far. Some weeks it feels like I’m losing SO SLOWLY. But honestly, that’s OK. 1-2 pounds a week is “normal” and, from what I understand, a healthy pace. So although I’d love to be at my goal weight next week I’m pretty please with the way things are going. Now about those bites and tastes…