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Transmogrification by MsMagenta
February 2021

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End of Month 5
February 22, 2021

So the weight loss continues. I’m down 67 pounds since I started the process and almost 57 pounds since my surgery date with a total loss of 51 inches. Crazy.

Some things I’ve noticed during month 5 -
-PMS Cravings are insane… I’m working on some alternatives to kill my sugar cravings. Today I begin the week before my period which is usually the worst part. So I’m PRAYING I don’t lose my mind like last month. I feel ok today… not crazy yet Laughing

- This month appears to have been the absolute WORST for hair loss. It was very noticeable during month 4 but it was crazy during month 5. I have to go to the car wash and vacuum out my carpets because they’re literally covered with a layer of my hair. I swept up piles of hair in the bathroom. I have to use a mesh drain cover in the shower to catch all of my hair before it goes down the drain and makes a nasty clog that my husband so graciously digs out frequently. (GOD… I love this man… it makes me gag just thinking about the hair in the drain… and it’s MY HAIR! I'm ill ) The good news is… the hair loss seems to be slowing down now. I hope so.

- Weight loss seems to be slowing down over-all and I’m eating fairly normally but still trying to keep my meals at about 3-5 oz.

- Still struggling with eating slower. This habit is a tough one for me to break. If I had to do it all over again, I would make sure to practice this new way of eating during my surgery prep months.

- I had my first craving for a diet pepsi. That was strange to me. I didn’t actually drink one but it was strange to actually really want one. It’s been close to a year (maybe 10 months) since I’ve had one. Weird.

- I’ve been having more fish lately. That seems to be my go-to when my husband is having something I shouldn’t be eating. It cooks quickly and I really do love it. Lots of protein, low in fat and calories… delicious!!

Physically, I continue to feel great! I met with my psych and my regular doctor and they’re all really pleased with my progress and my labs so that’s perfect.
Mentally and emotionally, I’ve been pretty steady this month. No strange mood shifts. My brain has absolutely not caught up with my body yet though. Body dysmorphia is a very real and strange thing. My friend took a picture of me when we were at our cooking class and she said “OH MY! LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE!” What I saw in the picture is NOT what I see in the mirror every day. I mean… it IS what I see in the mirror every day, but it’s not registering completely. There are moments when I really do feel smaller than when I started this process. But usually I feel like that same “big” girl. The other day I was sitting on the couch with my legs folded up under me and my arms across my lap and for whatever reason I really noticed how much smaller I was as I was sitting there. And I got dressed on Saturday and realized that I am able to focus on getting “dressed” rather than getting “hidden.” Not so much worry about hiding myself. I can put an outfit together without worrying as much as I used to about attempting to cover all the rough spots. That’s a great feeling. So I am noticing the changes… but my brain still hasn’t caught up yet, I don’t think.

It’s been a great journey so far. Let’s see what month 6 brings…

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