|A Garbo Night|
December 28, 2002
Quiet at the library this morning. Got a little busy around 11, but not as busy as i'd anticipated.
Came home, finished up the laundry, spoke to my parents, read email and diaries.
Even managed a brief nap.
H came home around 7pm, bringing dinner from Swiss Chalet. Now the evening stretches ahead. Personally, i'd be happy going to bed for the night! But 8pm does seem just a tad too early for a Saturday night.
Still no package from L. i'm afraid it's lost.
No message from L, either, who just recently showed up online. Don't know if he's waiting for me to message him, or just hasn't noticed i'm there. Doesn't really matter, there's nothing really to talk about. And some nights, just sitting on picophone and not having anything to say feels pointless. Some nights, it's kind of cozy....feels like being there. Other times, it just feels like a waste of time and bandwith. Tonight is one of those times.
Most times, i don't mind messaging him first, cause i know he doesn't always check the machine that has ICQ on it. Other times, like tonight, i feel disinclined to make the first contact. If he wants my company enough, he'll contact me. If he doesn't, it probably means he's putzing around with his computers, and will only spend the evening cursing and yelling at them anyway....with me as his "audience". i'm not in the mood for that tonight.
i'm actually not in the mood to chat at all, since of necessity, our conversation would have to be casual, neutral...and i really don't have anything to small-talk about. Oh well.
Feelings like this come and go. Some nights, i go into "Greta Garbo mode", and simply "vant to be left alone". This is one of those nights. There's nothing on TV i care to watch, and no one i care to be with. A good book, a cup of tea, some music....and solitude, are all i want.
If i can have them, i will be content. By tomorrow, i'll be in a more sociable frame of mind. But you intrude on my solitude at your own peril tonight....i'm apt to be quite surly. No worries about H bothering me, however. He'll get on his computer, and won't surface until morning. And L seems to have gotten used to my occasional disappearances. i don't know as he especially likes when i pull a Garbo, but he seems to understand my need for it.
So, tomorrow night (or later tonight if my mood changes), i'll apologize to L for not being around. (He might not even have noticed, depending on how engrossed he is in whatever computer crisis he's created.) And life (and love) will go on.....