October 2, 2007
Feeling: not sure yet
Well if things work right I should be back to work shortly. Can you read the lack of trust between the lines? Even with the call yesterday I still do not trust them.
I am torn between feeling good and feeling something else. Kind of the feeling that I had when the divorce was final. There is nothing to celebrate here. Having to live with something that is just wrong and can’t be fixed is in my mind nothing to be happy about.
So I think I made the right decision? Yes. For me yes. Nothing will change the reality of having to make it. So please don’t read I am ungrateful here. I am grateful. The other side is the set of circumstances that make this decision so hard.
Went to a “make your own pizza” dinner last night. Never been to one before. It was great! Lots of friends and lots of laughing. Good pizza and good fun. I think this would be a great party to do on my own some time. Just put of bowls of all different toppings, crusts, big tub of different things on ice to drink and let things happen the way they will happen.
Not in the mood to write right now. I know as time goes by it will level out.
Thank you all for your support through this. Reading the comments and the private messages has kept me going. My son has been a big support in this. I am so fortunate to have the people around me that I do. It has made all the difference.......
My son’s visit was great. It is so nice reaching a point with him that we are both father and son as well as friends. I hoped for this. I had this with my father. I know what it means.
Things I am thankful for:
I opened my eyes this morning to a beautiful day
The time spent with my son while he was home