July 23, 2012
This afternoon I go to the docs and hopefully he will have some kind of idea what is going on. I feel like I am in limbo with this. Can't do the things I want to do for fear of making the situation worse.
A friend asked me yesterday if I could keep the shop if there is nothing they can do. The answer is probably no. Too much time on my feet. Just would not be able to do it. Even if I hired someone, which I can't afford really, I would still have to make glasses and that is a lot of standing time. But that is just off the cuff and seeing the future is not something I can do. I will cress that bridge if I come to it.
Now you see the anxiety. Not knowing.
I shared my feelings with my friends yesterday. I told them about the living situation my ex has with the person that molested my son. I don't normally talk about that with others. I only told the truth and it felt good to say the words out loud. To see the shock on the faces and know that what I am feeling is normal. Not consuming just normal. That they too feel bad for my son. I know it hurt him but he needed to know. That way he is not ambushed by his mother with it down the road.
So today I have the guy that used to work for me coming in to fill in so I can go to my apt. this afternoon.
It was a nice weekend. Saturday after I closed I went to the bourbon tasting with friends. Nice time. Sunday to brunch with other friends and had a nice time. Rest of Sunday was just laying around and watching tv. Not the most exciting thing to do but the most quiet next to sleeping.
Today I have some glasses to finish and some things to move around. Tired of having my life on hold. I can risk a little movement. Makes me feel good. I need to accomplish things as part of feeling good about myself. I don't go overboard with it but I do have to have forward movement .
Things I am thankful for:
Warehouse "C" Tornado Survivor E.H.Taylor bourbon