December 9, 2016
Slept well with no crazy dreams I can remember. Good
I caught myself beginning to write about things I've covered many times before but stopped myself. Water under the bridge.
What I see now is different. My whole life is different. Every aspect. The future? I am beginning to see a possible future. It has been forming for a while. So obscure I couldn't make anything out in my minds eye. Now some things are coming into focus. It's still in it's liquid form so I'm sure it will change and reform as time goes by. Thing is I like all I can see. Positive. Strong. Honorable. I can do this. It's exciting.
The fact my son won't be coming home for Christmas is something that hurts. I won't deny it. I wish he would. I also know why he is reluctant. If I put myself in his shoes I would feel the same. Hell I did. After I moved out I rarely went home for any holidays and I lived in the area. I am fortunate to have the relationship I have with him. I know he feels the same. So until he is past this part of his journey I will be thankful for what I have. Through all the crazy things that happened. All the hard choices. All the going all in on one roll of the dice........it was worth everything it cost. I came out with so much more.
Things I am thankful for:
Dried Greek Figs